If there's nowhere left to hide,

2 months to lose 2kg. 2 days to gain 2 kg.

2012-01-29T23:09:00.000+08:00

CHONG YAN JING. YOU BETTER THINK BEFORE YOU PUT ANYTHING IN YOUR MOUTH.

FAT ASS YOU THINK YOU ANOREXIC EAT AND EAT AND WON'T GROW FAT? YOU ARE SO GUILTY AND BAD ABOUT YOURSELF NOW. WILL YOU JUST STOP EATING.

LOOK AT YOU. YOUR TUMMY IS BIGGER THAN SOMEONE WHO IS GENUINELY 4 MONTHS PREGNANT!

LOOK AT YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS. YOU ARE THE FATTEST. DON'T BE SO PROUD OF YOUR DISCIPLINED EXERCISE ROUTINE OF RUNNING AND SWIMMING ALMOST EVERYDAY BECAUSE YOU FAILED AT CONTROLLING YOUR MOUTH. YOU FAILED AT CONTROLLING YOUR MIND. WITHOUT THAT STRONG (AND SUSTAINABLE) MINDSET OF YOURS, YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF FATS. WORSE THAN 三层肉!

I'm alone. Not lonely.

2012-01-25T23:45:00.001+08:00

Eating like a hungry ghost aside, I read a book (Yes. Within 2 weeks. I know, it's unbelievable), and watched 2 movies.

I bought this book titled "Yakuza Moon" about 4 (or maybe 5) years ago. It wasn't unwrapped because I didn't plan to read it. I buy books but don't read them because I know they will be there forever so I can read them anytime I want (which may not happen anyway). Eventually, I gave it to my friend as a birthday gift. Just recently, I chanced upon this book in the school library and my instinct told me to borrow it.

If it's me one year ago, the book might just sit on the desk, collect some dust, and be back on the library shelves again 2 weeks later. I can't believe I am capable of reading a book till the very end.

Anyway, the story was intriguing. It was an eye-opener for me. Ever since I came back from Shanghai, I always thought that my life is messed up, couldn't really piece everything in place. But after reading her story, I thought my life is so smooth-sailing. Her life was in a total MESS. So, if you feel emo elmo, thinks that life is meaningless, or even have suicidal thoughts, GO READ THE BOOK.

If you are a sadist going crazy and happy watching violence and sexual content, go for it! To be honest, I was a little affected and disturbed by the way she described some of her experiences. The power of words and our minds for imagination. Wow.

Ok, as much as I know how much I can benefit from reading, it is still quite hard for me to read constantly. I'd still prefer watching motion pictures.

The first movie I watched was "One Day".

It is a freaking slow moving movie. I almost fell asleep. But maybe if you are someone who thinks a lot, have deep thoughts every now and then, you will find the message behind this movie very powerful. Because I'm someone who is into action-packed, fast paced editing kind of movie, One Day just wasn't my cup of tea. Moreover, I'm a very superficial person without much intellectuality. Afterthoughts was nothing but "Anne Hathaway is so hot. She's so damn hot. Sooooo beautiful. The eyes... Omg. How can she look so good in all sorts of hairstyle?! Ok, this is an unfair world."

The Notebook, similarly, has its story revolves around love. I heard it's a super sad story and you will cry your eyes out. I feel that the touching(emotionally. not physically.) element was quite subtle. Hmmmm, or maybe I am not very easily touched? Well, the love in the movie was amazing. But because it will never happen in today's environment, I cannot really relate much to the movie. It's more like a fairy tale. After watching this movie, I just felt that the world today is pathetic.

Life priorities

2012-01-14T22:42:00.003+08:00

It's all about priorities. The guest lecturer on Thursday's acting workshop made me realised that no decisions made in our lives are ever incorrect. It all boils down to our priorities in life, and whether or not have we placed these priorities in an acceptable way to the rest of the world or the other way round.

He was an IT person for 7 years! Executive jobs, good money, stable life, doing well in his field, etc. But he chose to go all to the other side in the creative field and became an actor. Then he told me that he even sold his car and took bus as his main form of transportation around Singapore. He was happy with it.

On the other hand, my teacher who lugs a guitar everywhere he goes, depended a lot on his car. I asked him if it is worth the money to pay so much (Especially for the ERPs and since he works in the town area, it's even worse) for it. His reply was, "Aiyah. The most important thing is to be comfortable ma." He was happy with it.

No matter how we place our priorities, I guess the most important factor to determine the priorities does not lie in how politically acceptable it is in the world of today. Just make sure that we all feel happy and comfortable with it.

---

And regarding the previous post, it was a reflection of the unsatisfied soul of mine. When I was 9, I looked forward to turn 10, because my age turned into something worth 2-digits! Really excited about it. Whenever I signed up for Chicky Membership Club at KFC, I would gleam and proudly write my 2-digits worth of my age on the application form. After experiencing the 2-digits, what's next?

I looked forward to turning 12. Because then, it was the year of my zodiac. I was so excited to see Chinese New Year celebrated with decorations of cute monkeys everywhere. MacDonalds even had the small monkey plushies for sale. I used to collect that. Ok, so everyone celebrated CNY with my zodiac sign. What's next?

I looked forward to turning 16. I guess the reason is obvious. Thanks to MDA, there is something to look forward to in life. My first ever NC-16 movie. You know that moment when you proudly flash your ID to the person who checks and struts to your seat afterwards. Now they can't even be bothered. Very naturally, after NC-16, I looked forward (a lot) to my 18th Birthday.

M-18 movies aside, the thing which I was really really really looking forward to is getting my driving license, and buying 4D on my own. Watched my very first M18 movie only recently in October last year, so that explains how much I cannot be bothered about the movie ratings anymore. The real stuff is to get hold of the steering wheel legally, albeit being really lousy at controlling it. Bought 4D on my own for the very first time (my birthday was on a Sunday). Didn't win anything and that's it.

Now I'm 19, turning 20 in a few month's time and I am looking forward to my 21st. Why? R-21 movies and most importantly, CASINO!!! As much as I want to reach there asap and experience something new with the new legal age, I also hoped that time will not pass so fast to that stage because I don't know what to expect in my life after that stage.

In a typical human's life, I will be looking forward to fall in love, get married, have sex, get pregnant, give birth, build a home, watch my child/children grow, witness my child/children go through all the stuffs I went through, carry my grandchildren and finally, wait for my death.

Everytime when I experienced something new, for example getting drunk (note that I said FOR EXAMPLE), I feel very fresh towards that experience because it is something I never went through before. After knowing how it feels like to be at one's drunkard state, then I realised, "Oh. So this is how it feels to be drunk." And that's what my father said, "也只不过如此." So what's next? You will want to explore something else, something fresh which you never went through before.

The point is, we will never be satisfied. And it is impossible to be satisfied. Ok, maybe I shouldn't assume everyone is the same as me. Let's just look at myself...

I never thought I could drive without anything above my head. That was my dream wedding car (I even thought of renting it for a day on my wedding day). But now that it's a dream come true, what's next? Another dream. My father told me, "当你拥有了一些东西，你会觉得这些也只不过如此。可是如果你没有的话，你又会一直去想要。很多问题的啦。"

He's right. Today I might be super happy to get a second hand old Toyota, tomorrow I want a bigger saloon car, the day after tomorrow I want an Audi, Benz, BMW, Jaguar, Porsche, Ferrari, Lamborghini, Maserati... NEVER ENDING I TELL YOU.

But, what is next???????

I've always admired Mr. Ginger's family with a big house, 6 cars, and everyone (3 generations) lived under that one rooftop. I want something like that as well. But what if it doesn't turn out to be what I have always been imagining??

My father made sense

2012-01-14T02:05:00.003+08:00

也只不过如此

Happy New Year It's 2012!!

2012-01-01T05:32:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year everyone!

For this year's countdown party, it's a little different from previous years. I remember it was at Amanda's place, then Ryan's place. This year, it's at Pornboi's place! Hmmm. Kind of unexpected because I don't really know him and didn't really talk to him. But I think I earned myself a new friend.

On New Year's eve, I woke up at 9am, not wanting to waste any bit of the last day in 2011, thinking of making a nice pancake breakfast for my family. But my parents were getting ready to go out for breakfast with my Aunt and cousins. So ohwells, I followed them and ditched my perfect pancake breakfast. Had meepok at the rail mall. Seriously, I don't even know when was the last time I ate meepok. I was really crazy in the past to stop eating all these food. But I guess it's a bliss to be eating without thinking, so that explains my size (hahaha...)

Started preparing to bake chocolate marble cake for the potluck new year countdown party at PB house. But!!! My brother took the remaining cup of milk (for his breakfast). Good job really. So I had to walk to NTUC (at BPP laaa!!!) under the scorching hot sun. Waaaaaa, the thing about festive season is that EVERYWHERE IS CROWDED MAN!!! Go orchard/clarke quay/market/NTUC/walk on the streets ALL POWER PACKED WITH PEOPLE.

The moment I stepped into the NTUC is like a start of a war. Everyone is literally snatching. As Haagen-Dazs was having a promotion, the fridge was terribly raped..

Got home and started baking!! I spent the entire afternoon baking the cake but I brought home almost 3/4 loaf of the cake. Nevermind!!!! I will work harder next time. But I think next time I just buy laaa. Much more convenient and definitely taste better.

Reached PB place at about 8pm and woah, so much food! Gorged myself to death. This year, the countdown gang changed a little. Still as always, with the girls minus Ning, no more Ryan and QQ :( in addition to Bertrand, Yi Kiat and Wee Liat (the BTPS brothers LOL.)

PB asked a good question.

"What is the thing that you regretted the most in the year 2011?"

I forgot JY's answer because I was too occupied with Amanda's answer! (JY TELL ME AGAIN IRL.)

Alright. For me, 2011 had been a great year. I have seen so much, been through quite some bit, and experienced many different things which I always wanted to try out as a 19-year-old. I wanted to have a breakthrough and get out of my usual life routine. So ta-dah, I saw myself living life in a foreign land for half a year. HALF OF 2011 WAS SPENT IN CHINA.

My internship life in Shanghai was considered calm and peaceful. Office drama mama aside, my life is super healthy considering I sleep before 12 midnight on weekdays and I visit the gym every moment when I am not working. I did not party or explore the town or red light district in Shanghai because honestly, I was too occupied with the shopping... Really freakinggggg cheap cheap chirp chirp shopping... And of course, my best friend, Miss Taobao. (shy) I cannot imagine myself going crazy over shopping because I am not the shopping material in Singapore. Window shopping still okay okay, but serious real-time shopping in Singapore? Sorry ah, cannot afford.

Thanks to China being China, my life in Shanghai revolves around
Work -> Supermarket -> Gym -> Cheap Road -> Taobao -> Cheap Road -> Night Market -> Taobao -> Cheap Road -> TAOBAO+GYM -> TAOBAO+GYM -> TAOBAO+GYM -> TAOBAO+GYM -> TAOBAO+GYM -> ...

Well, you can imagine. But in the end, I realised I didn't fully utilise my time spent in Shanghai. Didn't explore the night life. Didn't go out to meet new people. Didn't even make the effort to go out with my school mates. I'm always at the gym on Friday nights when they meet up for dinner. Hmmmm? Well, I did make a lot of friends at the gym, but hmmmmm.... hahahaha.. I was always on my own. I even went to Jolin's outdoor concert on my own!!!! In fact, two of my school mates from APR (also interning in Shanghai) attended Jolin's concert too... I could've made friends and hang out more often with them, explore more places with them, create more memories in Shanghai. But well, I think that's one of my very huge regret. Sighs. As it is not easy to get the chance to be so free (without having to answer to my parents EVERYDAY), it is definitely not easy to get this chance to be in a foreign land with so many other school mates anymore. Rare opportunity, gone with the winds.

Hm.... But it's ok. I guess this will make a good lesson. I WILL NOT BE SUCH A LOSER ANYMORE.

So, when I came back to Singapore, I started exploring the other side of Singapore. The night life. Parties and dancing and drinking. More and more of these, I met more and more people. I can't say I made a lot of new friends because I don't know if they can be considered my friends? Let's just say, I met a lot of new people, a lot of people who are very different from all the people I knew, or rather, very different from all of my friends.

And from these "new people" I met, I learned a lot, especially the inner thoughts and voices of the people in this realistic world. Always when I get too engrossed with my own life, looking at my schedule every day and night, thinking of fitting my time slot to work the best out of my time, my brain never failed to end up thinking about myself myself myself myself myself. Nothing but myself. During that period of time, I didn't think about the people around me, my family around me, and my friends around me. Never ever thought of their feelings, never ever cared about how are they coping with their lives and never put in the slightest effort to keep up with each others' lives. Not to say that I am capable of doing all these now, but at least now that I'm aware of it, I will try to improve on that area.

There are so many different things out there in the world. I want to see more. It's enough to be a frog in the well for 19 years!!

Yea sure I will be happy to always stay in my comfort zone, be contented and make do with what I have. Repeat my routine and live my life in a safe district. Happy life and die contented without complains.

But no.

I want my life to be full of ups and downs, filled with drama mama moments, armed with swords and daggers. More adventures. More excitement. But of course, always remembering where to draw my line. It's tough, but this is what makes our lives interesting (thus, it's called life right?).

Typing at the very first few hours of the year, I want to embrace 2012, the 20th year of my life. I insist that I am still a youth and so I can childishly say hello to 2012.

Last day of the year (again)

2011-12-31T10:27:00.000+08:00

It's the last day of the year again. It happens every year but we are always looking forward to it.

Treat it like it's the last day of the world. Have a good one!

Bake and grow fat

2011-12-26T03:23:00.000+08:00

Steamed Chocolate Cake

Ready to be baked - Chocolate Brownie

Mess in the kitchen - Mom cooked lunch while I baked

Looked burnt. But it's not ok.

Almond butter cake

Chocolate brownies - Success!

Almond butter cake - Success!

Raspberry thumbprint cookies - A bit fail

Christmas - An excuse to celebrate

2011-12-26T02:13:00.004+08:00

What are we celebrating for? I don't know what's the meaning behind this special day, but I guess it's alright because when everyone is celebrating, it just doesn't make sense if I don't.

In the past, I don't celebrate Christmas. Celebrating is such a joyful thing to do. I think I was really a boring person. Better late than never. This year, I did quite some stuffs!

My Christmas celebration started on Thursday, 22nd December with SRC netties. Ate buffet, played some games and exchanged gifts. I think the games Limin came out with were quite interesting, especially "2 truths 1 lie". We are supposed to say 2 truths and 1 lie about yourself and the others will guess which one is the lie. Through this game, I got to know some stuffs about my team mates. Of course, many of them didn't have the adventurous spirit to say juicy stuffs. But there were a few which shocked me.

One of them had undergone cosmetic surgery. Like wow, I didn't know that. This is the best in the game. Those who said "I'm the youngest in the family" or "I like pink" can really go home. Hehe.

Another team mate got a Ferrari at home. For goodness sake, she's only year 1 in polytechnic. If only I'm a guy, confirm go after her. Hahahaha.

---

On Friday, I went to Mustafa! My very first visit there. It was an awesome place. So many things to look at! I freaking love the supermarket. Best of all, it is open 24 hours!! Some loots from Mustafa.

Wholemeal wraps, Mustard sauce and 400g humongous christmas toblerone.

After that, walked to The Verge and attended a Christmas party at my friend's interning company. The main focus was the lucky draw segment. I won myself $20 Sheng Siong voucher. Hehehe. There were free food and magic show. Really don't like to watch magic show because I always feel cheated.

Went for a house party at night. This is my first time attending a house party. But it wasn't what I expected. I lost my bottle of red wine (don't know which idiot stole it). Because there were so many people around, it was very difficult to "control" the situation. Everyone was perfectly sober except for this one guy who got real drunk and started making a scene. It was quite boring but well, I guess it's worth it for the free drinks and knowing more people - networking.

But because of this, I realised I have been living in the well. It's so hard to trust people. These guys made me understand this world a little better. JC kids are crazy people.

All I can say is... the government is doing a good job... OKAY LAH I SAY. Some of the army guys really got very nice figure despite all the smoking and drinking.

Took a bus back home in the morning, washed up, slept for an hour and get ready to leave for Kovan.

---

Saturday morning spent in the MRT to Kovan. Freaking long journey. Having only 1 hour of sleep is not helping much. My body felt like jelly.

Reached White Tangerine Cafe and started warming up for the performance. That was my first time performing in public so I was quite nervous. I planned to sleep early the night before so that I will be at my best spirit for the performance, but plan failed because of the house party (Never been to one before. So I wanted to explore!)

Anyway, the performance went smoothly. Really thankful for that. I was scheduled to play the third song. So I could leave early, but I stayed back a while to listen to the other performers. Ahhhhhh. Really felt so relaxed listening to good old Chinese pop songs! It makes my journey all the way to Kovan worth it.

Went home and took a short nap before getting up to ~~countdown for Christmas~~ (just an excuse) party! Met up with JJ, Jasline and Linden (all from Bukit Panjang yay!) and made our way down to Clarke Quay. Wa I tell you the crowd is really no joke at all. I felt like I was already at the dancefloor while walking on the streets. Have to squeeze my way through and there was a massive human traffic jam.

Got in before midnight. I think this is the first time I countdown for Christmas with so many people. Feels good! I received text wishes from Ming Xian and Jia Xun too. I felt so thankful. Who will send sms to wish you merry christmas today? You all confirm use whatsapp and forget about this poor girl who is using an old handphone. Linden was amazed when he saw my phone. He laughed like it was a joke. I don't blame him because the picture was really funny when everyone standing at the entrance was playing with their smartphones and suddenly you see this pink flip phone.

I experienced something new that night. It was crazy man. I was feeling perfectly fine and even took care of JJ vomitting in the toilet. The next thing I knew... I woke up and found myself in my bedroom. MAJOR MEMORY LOSS!! Thank goodness for my friends I don't have to sleep on the streets.

I sat up and was shocked to see this...

After washing up, I found myself covered with bruises all over. My right eye hurts like fish as if someone punched me hard right into my eye. I earned myself several blue blacks on my knee, arms and even on my hips. There is even a mild scratch above my right eye brow. I believed someone really punched me.

I like the process of exploring my phone after a night out because there will be so many surprises. It is as if someone else took my phone, fiddle with it and ended up returning it to me.

So, my 2011 Christmas was spent sleeping.

Rebel revived

2011-12-19T00:48:00.001+08:00

I thought it would be quite boring at Rebel and even thought of hopping over to Zouk to join Fiona. But it was quite fun. The best part is meeting my primary school friend, Jia Jia!! Everyone knows her by the name "Stella" now and to be honest, I find it weird and awkward to call her by her English name. So, I insist on calling her by her Chinese name as it's more familiar and there is a sense of 亲切感. But when I talk to her other friends, I have to refer her by her English name if not they won't know who am I talking about. Anyway, it's sooooo amazing that we have things to chat about, even after so many years of not catching up with each other.

At times, while I was browsing through my primary school friends' FB pages, I was really surprised by a few of them. Some nerdy boys became sunshine guys, and some average looking girls just *poofs* turned into swans. Really beautiful swans. Make-up, contact lenses do the job but I salute these hardworking girls because to me, beautifying your looks is considered a talent. It's not easy man. When I look back into my primary school days and imagined the past looks of my classmates, it feels good to see everyone is growing up, getting more handsome and prettier each day, entering into universities and even getting attached to pretty girlfriends/cute boyfriends. I mean, I won't be able to imagine these scenarios when their primary-school-looks (that cute and innocent face) kept flashing in my mind right! Try it! Go FB all your primary school mates, you might discover something shocking.

For me, I don't really meet up my primary school friends often. But thank goodness there's technology where we're all linked together via social networking sites. Interactions online might lose out to Face-to-face but at least there's still a connection going on. I feel that this little connection might spark something new, which I am still looking forward to it. And it's so much easier to find them online!

Anyway, Rebel felt like a total different place from the first time I went with BBJLB (virgin experience with them!!). From getting Flaming Lambo onwards, I kept wondering why my drinking straw didn't melt in that fire. I felt like a noob when I saw the fire and I was hesitant to drink. I thought I have to wait till the fire disappear before sticking the straw into the glass. But it was freaking cool to see it in front of my eyes. That was the highlight of the night. Worth it! (even though I didn't get my fave drink that night.)

Oh ya, I saw my secondary school senior too. Shows how small and well-connected SG is, which can be really cool to have so many mutual friends.

What a way to reunite with my primary school mate but who cares. We're back in contact again in just one awesome night.

TAN JIA JIA!!

Happy stuffs

2011-12-14T23:32:00.001+08:00

I realised this space is full of grunts and full loads of emo stuffs. Actually, my life is not that bad! I am so much happier ever since I returned from Shanghai. At least, I do not hate school that much now. "Hate" used to be an understatement. That's how bad it was.

Enough of all these sad stuffs, I need to blog more happy things that happened in my life.

I went ice-skating with Ning after lecture today! Impromptu plans worked quite well for me. Well, I do have an acting assessment tomorrow morning, but man, it's totally holiday mood for me. Vrooooom vroooom all the way to Kallang! Not bad right. The journey was less than an hour. Improvements. Actually, I like to chit chat with my friends while driving. But, it was quite difficult to multi-task.

The last time I skated was in June while I was still in Shanghai. I never been to the skating rink at Kallang before. From what I heard, I always thought that it was a super big ice rink. But I was wrong. It was pathetically small (almost the same size as the old skating rink at Jurong). Price was alright I guess. $13 (student) + $3.50 (skates rental) = $16.50 for a 2 hour session.

2 hour seemed quite short at first. I remember it was either 4 hours/unlimited package back at Jurong Entertainment Centre and I could tank the entire 4 hours with loads of energy. Sighs, time is catching up really. I find it quite tiring and I could feel soreness at my thighs. All the other skaters looked so young! I guess, maybe ice-skating is an activity for up to secondary school kids?

I enjoyed today's session even though I wasn't skating with Ning most of the time. Caught a movie after skating. Impromptu part 2. Hahaha. Honestly, I was quite amazed that Ning was on a detox diet. She really can control super well. And the fruits she ate was in moderate amount. Unlike me who will spam fruits and yoghurt like mad. Really salute her determination! Ning you can do it! Jiayou jiayou jiayou!!

---

My hedy king prize finally arrived! I passed my Grade 6 Theory in March last year and I only got the cheque from London only last week. So efficient. Hehehe.

It's my first time receiving an overseas cheque. Exciting...

Flying envelope.

Actually, this is the 2nd cheque I received. The first cheque was not signed by the Director. Hahahhaa. Can you imagine this piece of paper flew to Sg from London and back to London again for the Director to sign on the cheque and fly back to Sg again?!?! Hahahhaha. This cheque shiok only. Fly so often!

But the best thing I knew from POSB is that they'll charge a fee for international cheques. I deposited the cheque three weeks ago and it's still not banked into my account... Speak of efficiency.

My name is also published in their Annual newsletter hehehe. It's not something super big and awesome, but to me I think I accomplished something in my life. Hahaha! Singapore has 84 names on that list. It's considered a lot compared to the other countries and considering the size of Singapore.

Gonna start working on my Piano pieces soon! (After I get back home, but I don't think I can get back before New Year sighs)...

I can't wait to go home

2011-12-11T00:19:00.000+08:00

So that I can practice in peace
So that I can do work on a table
So that I have bright lightings above me
So that I can listen to radio at real time
So that I can find all my favourite clothes
So that I can have my personal space
So that I don't have to hog my brother's room and his bed
So that I could find all my stuffs
So that I could organise and keep my stuffs in place

So that I can get serious in my life

You know what. Everything is all over the place right now.
So messy. And it affects me. My life feels messy as well I have no idea why.

Really cannot wait to get back home.

This sucky monday

2011-10-31T23:55:00.000+08:00

It's when I want to talk to somebody about this depressed night that I'm left with myself.

I had no choice but to believe that there's no one I can trust, even myself.

Please grant me a better Tuesday TYVM.

First week of school so far

2011-10-22T20:32:00.000+08:00

It was quite tough for me to adapt to school for the first three days, but I'm glad it got better on from Thursday onwards.

The modules for this final semester are interesting, since most of them are my own choices and luckily, it turned out better that what I've expected. The compulsory modules, on the other hand, did not catch much of my attention. But, I will give my best as a student no matter what, since this is already the final lap.

Surprisingly, I am okay with most of my tutors! So that makes my life in school happier I guess...

Back to school again

2011-10-17T22:59:00.000+08:00

I remembered I was feeling quite okay this morning. I even woke up earlier and took a bath. FYI, I don't bathe in the morning and only bathe once a day usually.

Also, because I am still trying to do things the youthful way, I've been wanting to embrace and enjoy campus life, since that's what students (YOUNGSTERS) are doing right?

I seemed quite friendly and cheery throughout the day (I think?), but the moment I reached home at night, I felt a gush of sadness. Even though nothing really bad happened in the day, this depression got me. I have no idea why either. I just felt that I do not belong in school.

There are so many young people there I felt so out of place. Everybody looked so beautiful and young and hyped up and I just felt like I'm a fat, oily and ugly piece of shit.

I wanted to pay attention in class but the helplessness hits in when I couldn't catch up with the content. Everybody is so knowledgeable and talented I just felt like I'm at the wrong place.

It's not like I didn't try to appreciate going to school. I tried my best, I really put in my heart to embrace school today, but to uncover the sadness deep in there after the entire day. As if that wasn't enough, I said the meanest thing to my father. I am the worst daughter in the world.

My father asked about my school today and how I felt. I answered him without any hesitation, "不爽不好。不好玩。"

Before he could ask what happened, I quickly entered the bathroom and took a shower. Imagine paying all that money to provide a holistic education for your daughter and this is the kind of attitude you get in return. I'm such a loser I know. People in the developing countries are dying to go to school and here I am bitching and complaining. Thinking of this makes me feel more depressed. Why am I not happy with what I have now?

School always never turn out to be the way I wanted. Freaking sad I have no idea why I'm such a spoilt brat.

Another round of spinning

2011-10-15T23:04:00.000+08:00

It felt great to have someone driving you around. My brother and I went to Toa payoh in search of our budget ktv session. It was quite a last minute decision so we didn't make any reservations.

We couldn't find the place and drove around that area for quite a long time. The traffic sucks so we got stuck on the road for more than an hour. I was really excited since it's such a great deal for a not-low-class-looking-ktv. When we reached the place, it was only applicable to a minimum spending of $30, which means 3 pax! We tried asking and woa, no rooms are left.

Disappointed, we left the place and called up other ktv places. No one answers our calls! Saturday really so busy? Ktv really so popular in Singapore meh?

Anyway, we ended up making our way to Kbox at broadway plaza. It was standard charge and it's the only place which answers phone calls and have vacant rooms for the afternoon. We kind of understood why when we reached there. Broadway plaza was under renovation and we had to take a lift up. It's somewhat similar to Clementi's branch, but worse. Hardly see anyone, even the servers are quite rarely seen. The best part is that they are using the old system! Think of the remote control and the pathetic small tv and an even smaller one for you to choose songs. I was quite amazed by myself that I used to enjoy going to kbox in the past with this lousy system. The sound system is quite faulty. A little blast is always accompanied by distortions.

I'm so glad that technology is making our lives better. Just don't look back.

We ended the session at 7pm and I was dying (of tiredness). Youth phase is coming to a stop. This final school holiday is coming to an end too. Honestly, I think I've spent this holiday playing and fooling around. Even though it doesn't feel very constructive, I really had lots of fun. Never did I have this amount of fun before because I used to work my ass off during school holidays (which I regretted). What's next? Youthful campus life. I will try my bestest to embrace my final semester in school, and of course, not forgetting to have fun at the same time.

Indigestion/Food poisoning

2011-10-12T00:16:00.000+08:00

As if suffering from indigestion once every 2 months in Shanghai weren't enough, I was vomiting and laosai-ing after I came back from running at QQ's place. The feeling sucks. I felt as if I was about to vomit my entire intestine out.

My mom and my brother suffered from the same thing as well. It was quite amazing I didn't know our blood are so bonded together hehe.

But the only thing that I felt comfortable was to have my family and friends around while I'm sick.

No more Diet Days really. Quite a chore to blog about what I eat everyday, and partly it's because I ate too much junk food which I am too embarrassed to disclose and ended up looking like a total failure in my diet. Roti prata, potong ice cream, tau sar bing, etc...

For now, I'm just gonna enjoy the remaining of my holidays. Tuesday is already wasted thanks to the stomach virus. Feels like time is running out.

Diet Day 4 & 5

2011-10-06T19:33:00.000+08:00

Diet day 4 is the worst. It started off quite well with breakfast and my mom even packed lunch for me as I will be spending my afternoon in the ktv. The ktv session with the girls was fun. Time is merciless though. It took away our youth AND our ability to sing hahaha. Ning coughs everytime she sings. My goodness, are we ageing too fast? It was until when we stepped in CCT for dinner and there goes my diet plan. I totally lost control. Even though I was already freaking full from the main dishes and dessert, I forced myself to finish up that humongous cup of milk tea. Was so full to the extent that I felt like puking.

After dinner, we ran to the theatre to catch my very first M18 movie! (We were late. As usual.)
An eye-opener for me if you get what I mean.

As the night arrives, my diet plan grew worse. When I met Fiona, she passed me this Vitamin Water waterbottle and I wanted to reject her already. Then, I realised it's her home-made vodka mixed with orange juice (with pulps somemore!). Hahahahahaha!!! I find it quite funny. Go clubbing also must go on budget heh.

A little bit of alcohol (low alcohol tolerance) and a cup of teh tarik before I return home. Tell me how successful is my DD4?

---

I felt super dizzy the following day. I woke up at 8.30am and could not get back to sleep. I blame it on the teh tarik. Even now, my head is still a little heavy. The best thing is that I don't even feel like eating anything.

Breakfast was only oatmeal with milk and cereal. After that, I slept till 2pm. Had a bowl of fried rice (I usually eat 2 bowls) at 3 plus. That meal took more than 30minutes. I was so tired and I find the food hard to eat. I cannot believe there's a day I can have no appetite. I felt much better now and ate a bowl of yoghurt with apple and cherry tomatoes. Not bad right!

Mood rating covers from the lowest to the highest.
Last week of holiday!! T_T EMBRACE EMBRACE.

Unbelievable

2011-10-06T09:35:00.000+08:00

Lying on bed, feeling quite dizzy right now. And I think it's best to blog abt this while I'm still in this floaty state. Alright, I agree that maybe I'm just trying too hard to be a youngster. But at least I know I've tried. It felt great to know yourself more through a sub unconscious mind. I never know I can allow myself to torture myself like this, pushing my limits even when I am already dying from tiredness. Honestly, I'm glad I did because last night was something I wanted to experience long long long time ago. Thanks to Fiona, I've seen another part of SG nightlife and I think I know why my bro clubs almost every week. It's kind of difficult to describe. I'm turning 20 next year so it's considered quite late to experience this I admit. THIS IS SO MUCH FUN what have I been doing?? We are only young once and to think that this is my very last school holiday, I feel a huge need to continue chasing after my last phase of youth. I mean, it's only when you're young that you can tahan not sleeping for the entire night. It's only when I'm young that I can tahan minor neck sprains from serious headbangs, crazy roller coaster rides and bungee jumps. From the bottom of my heart, I am so grateful to my parents who have full trust in me and did not stop me just because I'm a girl. I can't believe I used to think clubbing is such a waste of time and money. This is like spending money on Bishi bashi machines at arcades. People who stood by and look will find it a waste of time and money, but they don't know the amount we gain from it. You will never believe I'm such a person. Even I am surprised to know that I am like this. My friends said that I am quite mysterious, but I believe it's because I don't even know myself very well, so what more you guys out there... You can say that I'm addicted but I know this won't go on forever! I LIKE BEING YOUNG!!!!!!!! good night.

Diet day 2 & 3

2011-10-05T03:44:00.000+08:00

RDay 2 was considered "ok" because I exercised! The only bad thing that happened was the 2 tau sar bia I had in the morning. I ate dinner too, satisfying!

I lost control on Day 3 though. Jy called for lunch and a movie. Even though it was Korean food which I don't really eat often since I can't really take spicy food, I went ahead because I don't wanna be a wet blanket if I'm the only one detesting it. But in the end, Ning ate at home! So I'm gonna make it clear that I am not going to eat out at Kim's anymore. I don't eat spicy and don't eat meat and I know I am being very difficult here. So just go ahead without me in the future if you gals have any Kfood cravings because I don't like the guilt I have to face whenever people compromised because of my picky diet.

After lunch, I was glad that we met Ning up and caught a movie... and of course, to eat. Finally had my very first kaya toast (from outside)! It tasted like heaven and soooooo different from my homemade kaya toast (used a lousy 10 year old toaster). I know I'm not supposed to eat so much so dinner considering the fact that I had a sumptuous lunch earlier on, but I couldn't resist it. Actually, now I am feeling super hungry that I want to go to Amei's to get some prata, but nooooo!! I'm saving these calories for some $1 ice-cream in town.

Mood rate: 2.5/5
---

Diet aside, I am very excited for the remaining 1.5 weeks of holiday. My parents have been giving me a lot of freedom after I came back from Shanghai. I believe it's because they're afraid that I'll choose to leave SG if I feel restricted here. Growing older each day, getting more tired as time goes by, but I am still in search of my youth which I kind of missed the beginning.

HOLIDAYS ARE NEVER LONG ENOUGH FOR ME. Loads to do and play!

Day 1

2011-10-02T23:58:00.001+08:00

Not too good, but not too bad. I ate proper breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I was so tempted to try my grandmom's new creation - deep fried pumpkin. Pumpkin is one of my favourites and I fought hard mentally. Although I ate until I felt quite full, I am satisfied with the fact I managed to resist the pumpkin and the birthday cake.

Day 1 rating - 3/5

Fight on.

---

Greedy youth

2011-10-02T00:33:00.000+08:00

Hello. I really enjoyed myself today to the extent of losing control over my diet. I don't know if this is a good thing to be less obsessed with my weight now. Recently, I ate junk food like nobody's business.

After today's meeting up with BBJLB for a good catch up at the KTV/walking around/flea market, I really think that it is about time to get myself back into the serious mode for some strict diet. Honestly, I didn't know how I did it previously. Right now, after a series of binge eating and junking, I am still 50kg, so I had this mentality that "Hey I won't grow fat no matter how much I eat!" That was the reason why I kept pushing my diet to "tomorrow" and that "tomorrow" is never here.

Especially Ning, who's really crazy when she loses control over food, but is really determined when it comes to losing the weight she gained. I see how she's being ignorant of all the food temptations around, how she insists on drinking enough water and stop eating when she's not hungry anymore. While she's having full control of the food she puts in her mouth, my mind was preoccupied with what will be the next item that I must have to stuff into my mouth. I cannot stop eating once I start, unless it's meat. I will lose all appetite when I see meat.

Sighs. It has been a month... No results at all. When I was gorging myself with Bo Luo Bao in HK, I told myself that I will start my diet when I return and will only eat roti prata and kaya toast when I'm back to 46~47kg. Well, I ate countless kaya toasts already. And I am still a 50kg fatty (for my height, it's really not a pleasant figure hahaha).

That "tomorrow" will come tomorrow. It will either be a good start/a delayed "tomorrow" again. It's my grandmother's birthday and I can expect a full table of yummy dishes for dinner and a birthday cake. If I can do this previously, I can do it tomorrow too. I will aim to stop when I'm not hungry and will not touch the cake AT ALL. I can win temptations. I will not succumb. I think? Hm, hopefully. Hahahaha.

Diet Day 0
I will start tomorrow.

Picking up my pace

2011-09-24T22:32:00.000+08:00

On Thursday, I went to NYP for a netball friendly match. After 6 months of losing SRC and Netball, it was quite a challenge for me to get back into the mood for a team sports. There were some new faces and I saw that they can get along really well with the rest of the team. I was really happy to see most of the familiar faces, but honestly, even though I am quite cool with this, I was a little sad to know that my absence wasn't really much of a difference. It's just like when someone dear to us passed away, we cry, we mourn and we can't accept the fact. But as time goes by, life continues and his/her absence will not affect anyone's life at all.

The other day QQ asked me about my opinions on friends who will come in suddenly and say "I'll miss you" when they know that their friends are going to leave Singapore for another country. He asked if I would think that these friends are considered fake since they only appear during departures and don't even keep in contact for the rest of the time. Sad to say, it's probably that we can see things clearly during times of departures. For the rest of the time, I am blinded with self-activities and other much interesting stuffs like watching drama?

Back to netball. I was only put to play for a quarter and sure enough, I was quite lost and blur at times. Still sama sama as last time. Nevertheless, I really enjoy doing sports with a lot of other people. It's more enjoyable and "Today's exercise routine die also must lose xxx amt of calories", "I ate fried food today, so must run longer", "Must lose weight!!!!" won't occupy my mind all the time while exercising with a group of people with a different objective. So I am keeping myself with SRC despite my lousy skills and hopefully they won't kick me out while I still can run and pass the ball.

---

As for Song Composing Club, another thing which I held onto for a very long time before I left for Shanghai, I joined them for the annual camp yesterday. These crazy young kids nowadays... I was warmly(and probably awkwardly) welcomed by them because I was late and went into the LT in the midst of the camp chief's speaking. Heh. I like SCC because it's a place where I can listen to really beautiful new babies composed by people about my age. I have to say though, the characteristics of SCC (mainly the members) are super different from what it used to be when I first joined the CCA. Although majority of them love screamo songs (which I find it a little too hard for me to accept-I listen to Mozart-dances to ballet-and hahaha whatever it is), I like the music they make. Always so friendly and accepting and crazy.

CAMP WAS AWESOME I HAD FUN!
Chong Yan Jing will keep the youthful spirit up up and up up up and more up up up up before she hits 20. Gosh so old already.

SO WHILE I AM STILL A TEENAGER, ...

Damn this deskjob

2011-09-14T01:37:00.000+08:00

I used to think I love to see cars, especially beautiful cars. After 3 days of torture at Automobile Megamart (AML), I realised I don't love cars as much as I thought I would. Everyday I see so many cars I want to faint.

But my job has got nothing to do with these cars. All I did was to stare at the monitor and key in data non stop. It was a crazy task. Initially, I thought, "chey, key in the data only ma. Nothing difficult lah, but it's a little boring..." NO!! I was wrong. I had to think and think and think why this car is undergoing this process, why that sold car suddenly appear in the list again, why this why that, so that I can go to the right place to key in the data.

Moreover, the entire data system is crazy! So many options and steps to remember. At the end of the day, I realised that I forgot to breathe properly during work. I tend to forget my breathing when I am too engrossed in something or when I overworked my brain. (I forgot to breathe everytime I taobao)

Really hate this job... The only thing I could think about to push myself forward is the thought of helping my father. I felt that all the admin staffs are overworked. Moreover, I could get to work late and knock off early. I should be more optimistic... I'm sucha fortunate girl I know I shouldn't be complaining... But still!

Back in Singapore

2011-09-06T00:10:00.000+08:00

My first meal in Singapore last Friday was Economical Rice my mom dabao-ed home. It was my brunch and I realised I am less reluctant to put fried food/tomato sauce/oil into my mouth now. Having to eat out for the past 5 months in Shanghai resulted a change in my diet. Junk food and snacks are filling up the cupboard and I am quite willing to clear it up. Hehe. Even though my diet confirm will fail at the rate I'm going, I felt so much relieved that I am not overly obsessed with my weight.

I think staying at home is a good medicine to heal my obsession. At home, I will not see those skinny girls out there and feel inferior. At home, I have proper meals prepared for me at the right timing, and at no cost. At home, I can just eat whatever I want. I love to stay at home.

On Friday, I went to ECP with BBJLB to cycle and have a fruit picnic. It was about 6 months since we last met (except for Amanda). I was so tired that day and didn't wanted to go out. But to be honest, I was really looking forward to seeing them, so I went ahead. I was really happy to see them, but I don't know how they actually felt. We even clubbed at night. That was quite an experience and I will definitely go again! Maybe with my brother because I'm very curious about the way my bro clubs. Hahhaa.

Immediately the following day, I reported for work at Vivo, as a mooncake promotor. Hahaha. It was a tiring day since I only had about 3 hours of sleep (because of clubbing hehe). A few days ago when I was kind of emotional, I was thinking about my stupidity of taking up many part-time jobs. I never failed to fill my weekends with jobs jobs jobs and more jobs. Now that I think of it, I am really stupid. I am 19 years-old and I should be partying my weekends away, not work them away. My definition of partying =/= only clubbing. It can be watching tv and drinking milo at home, or playing mahjong with my friends (if I have any to start with), or watching a late night movie! I will reduce my working time from now on!

On Sunday, I finally went back to my teaching post. I felt totally lost after losing them for 6 months and without any efficient practicing for 6 months... Ever since my return, I've been practicing everyday, but my stamina is always very weak, I could not even concentrate for 30 minutes.

I need to clear my closet! I realised I have damn lots of clothes and I don't even wear them. FYI, I have not even unpacked the boxes of clothes I bought from China. How fortunate I am! I have a home, a maid to prepare all my meals, wash my clothes, and clean the house, 2 cupboards full of clothes, a father, a mother, a brother, a sister to accompany me at home. I'm sucha loser in the past when I go all envious seeing people with bigger houses, branded cars, and unlimited moolah. After "suffering" on my own in that tiny little space in Shanghai, I learned to appreciate my life in Singapore.

Don't complain.

Changes

2011-09-04T01:03:00.000+08:00

I am crying out loud while typing this. Tonight, I really scared the shit out of myself. I never felt so frightened in my life ever. This is such a daunting experience that I will never forget. It just happened and I felt the need to blog it out. I cannot contain this and keep it to myself, but didn't know who to call and ask for help or even listen to me.

I am such a lousy and bad driver. I was shocked to find that Honda Stream is gone and was replaced and I have no idea how to operate the new car. Every car has a different feel and control and this steering wheel is freaking heavy. Whatever it is, I frowned and forced myself to keep going. After dropping my bro off at his camp near loyang, I made my way back. I thought it would be smooth sailing if I were to just follow the expressways I came from. Who knows I lost my way again. I went to Kranji, that ulu farm place, but luckily, it was so empty that I could do a 3-point turn to get back to the main road.

I got up to BKE from there, and guess what! I AM ON MY WAY TO MALAYSIA. I got onto BKE(WOODLANDS) expressway. I didn't know it was the woodlands checkpoint!!! No wonder so many motorcycles over there. The best thing is that there isn't any u-turn and it's a one-way road. I was on my verge of breaking down I wanted to get back to Singapore. But I have no choice but to continue queueing all the way to the checkpoint.

When it's one car away from my turn, I thought I could use my passport and clear the custom, but I realised I took it out this morning. I really wanted to die. I can't believe I have the courage to drive on the roads alone at such late night, with a totally unfamiliar car model, and after about 6 months not driving AT ALL. I ended up at woodlands checkpoint, without any turning back.

I told the person my situation (that I am a noob who lost my way and ended up here unknowingly) and I have to go to the office to report. The officer told me to go straight and turn left into the secondary clearance. But shit, the lane was so narrow and it's for motorcycles only? So I went straight. The officer shouted and shouted and asked me to reverse!! I could have been shot if I were to go on straight. Sighs. Even when I was reversing, the officer wanted to vomit blood and taught me the right posture to reverse properly. Sighs Sighs, I guess that's why I ended up at the checkpoint. My goodness.

I even needed his help and guidance to park my car at the carpark. Luckily it was quite spacious I managed to park quite quickly with his guidance. After that, I reported to the checkpoint office and reported my situation. It was recorded and I am guided to the road back to Singapore. I have to pass by two gigantic metal gates and when the officer opened the gates for me, he finally smiled. While passing my IC back to me, he said, "19 years old uh? Haiyo, be careful ah. Drive home safely..."

Immediately, I cried all the way from the checkpoint to upper bukit timah. It was such a terrifying experience. Imagine the number of cars and motorcycles at the checkpoint. I even drove the wrong way within the checkpoint area. I wanted to die. I should not have drove. I wanted to call someone to ask for help when I knew I was driving towards the checkpoint, but I know they could not be much of a help. I was really on my own.. When my father knew that I lost my way and drove up the checkpoint, he seemed rather disappointed. I sucha loser.

Ever since my return, nothing is ever the same. The house changed, environment changed, friends changed, even I, myself changed. Is this part of growing up? Maybe this is the painful wings-hardening process. Hope it'd be over real soon.

In Shanghai

2011-07-22T10:30:00.002+08:00

Are there any souls here?

Teacher

2011-03-07T00:15:00.000+08:00

I felt so touched when my students groan when I told them they're going to have a new relief teacher.
I felt so touched when my student wanted me to teach her theory. But sadly, my Sunday has no timing left already (I only have 15 mins for lunch!)

These small little things are enough to take over all the other sadness due to the happy/indifferent attitude towards my absence in the next 5-6 months.

This is a love-hate relationship.

講真的

2011-02-28T22:46:00.000+08:00

我現在不想跟同學一起住

個性不合的兩個人怎麼過著同一屋簷下的生活？！請你告訴我！！！

天啊我是不是越來越孤僻

體諒諒解包容容忍或試著去了解一個人我真的辦不到

一個人不需要顧慮那麼多這樣不是很好嗎

煩死了

Baka

2011-02-11T22:50:00.000+08:00

I really need to blog this!!! I made a fool out of myself...

I drove to work today and it's my first time going on an expressway without either parents accompanying me. And tadah, I guess getting lost on the road is a phase everyone has to go through before becoming a pro like a street directory/taxi driver. I missed the expressway entrance and entered the 2nd one. I kept driving and couldn't find the exit. Before I get really annoyed, I saw the exit "Upp Bukit Timah" and I just exploded. A 15 mins drive became 45 minutes!! I was late for my work. And my parking skill...... got a lot of rooms for improvements...... Luckily no 凤飞飞 today.

The journey home was smooth-sailing!! But the embarrassing thing happened at the petrol station.. I have no freaking idea which side is my oil tank at! Luckily I guessed correctly. Being proud of myself, I quickly get off the car and went to the cashier with the petrol loyalty card (my bro say can use for discounts/points). But before I could walk away, the person who helped me add oil (pumper?) stopped and asked me to open the oil tank.

HAHAHA!! I forgot to open the oil tank and expect him to help me add oil!!! HAHAHAH... I am such a fool!! And the best thing is that I DON'T FREAKING KNOW HOW TO OPEN THE TANK HAHAHAHAHHAAH!!!!!

In the end, he taught me how to do it. hehe. Seriously....

At the cashier, my heart was bleeding profusely... It's so expensive.. When she asked for the card, I passed the card to her. She said, "Do you have the Shell's one?"

I pushed the card nearer to her.

"Er. This is Esso Mobile's card. Do you have the Shell's one?"

I was stunned!! Omo!! How embarrassing! It's like putting Starhub advertisement on MIOTV!!!!! AIYO! I think she must be laughing at me inside!

I don't know why it's the Esso card that happened to be in the car.. My parents and brother always add petrol at Shell.. Lol! I am such embarrassment...

You know what, for the first 5 minutes of the drive today, it was 7.30pm, and I didn't turned on the headlights! I totally forgot! Other motorists must be laughing at me... So dangerous eh. I only remembered and switched it on when I'm already at Ten Mile Junction.

Please 保佑 me not to get involved in any traffic accidents...

I love to eat in the morning

2011-02-11T01:02:00.001+08:00

During the last holiday, I went crazy over cooking and making my own food. I downloaded recipes from the internet and browsed recipe books at the library. The entire experience was quite fun, but honestly, it was really time-consuming and the results will either be really positive, or it'll suck big time! The following were the stuffs I made..

Pancakes. Self-made dough ok!! With Anko from Japan!!

With Cheese

With Kaya from Malaysia

More Cheese...

Home-made Mango shaved ice. Not too bad, but would prefer Ice Monster's.

2nd attempt in making sushi.

Not very attractive but it was really a thousand times better than the first try..

Pasta!! I'm gonna cook pasta for myself frequently when I go China! It's easy and delicious and healthy(minus the sauce).

1st attempt in making Daifuku. It was freaking time-consuming (It took me 1.5hours) and annoying (because it's very sticky and messy). Look at the fillings.. The skin couldn't hold the fillings well. It was so tough to cook the skin to the right texture. Mine was too soft, not strong enough to hold in the anko paste... :(

Covered the spilling anko paste with black bean powder. $2 per packet from Daiso.

Tasted not that bad lah. I guess expensive anko paste saved these Daifukus.

Attempt in making matcha ice-cream! Blending the green tea leaves from some tea farm in Japan!

With milk all...

Leaving it to freeze.

Done! But well, it tasted like shit. And I really mean the poop taste. I don't know what went wrong.


Ok, it looked like shit as well.

I cooked Chanpon noodles with shitake too! When I was cooking that, I was damn hungry so I forgot to take pictures and it is the best out of all those above! That was quite easy to cook, unlike the ice-cream and daifuku. I bought the noodles from Isetan and the instructions were very easy to follow.

Isetan sells a lot of interesting Japanese food stuffs and there're a lot of pre-made packed food items which are very easy to make and cook (like the chanpon noodles). Although it's really a little expensive, I think it's worth it because the quality is better and the taste is also better. But of course cannot afford to eat those stuffs everyday.

Things like Daifuku and green tea ice-cream, better buy from outside. It's so much easier and taste so much better. Even if it's a little pricey, I really won't mind paying after experiencing the pain and trouble in the making process personally.

I can't wait to live in Shanghai for 5 months! Then, I can learn how to cook more dishes and most important, to plan my breakfast every morning!!

Speaking of breakfast, do anyone have great ideas for a healthy breakfast? I need more ideas!

Why am I so rash?

2011-01-05T00:24:00.000+08:00

5 months in another country? I wished he would tell me I'm a rejected candidate now.

But he did not. Neither did he tell me I'm a confirmed candidate. So what now? What do I do now? I am totally stuck at my life planning up till 19th March. I could not go further and that feeling really sucks.

Mr Ng called me up and told me my cert was ready and I can register for the April ALCM examination but the deadline is on Monday, which means I have to confirm and pay the whopping $690 registration fee this coming Friday during lesson. If I don't take the April's exam, it'll drag all the way to August, which is also impossible since I'm just back from China(assuming that I am going). The next period will be in Nov/Dec, which is.... another year again. And... 5 months without piano lessons? 5 months without practice and motivation? Omg, I really don't want to think of the consequences.

Next it's that contract I'm tied to. It ends on 17 Apr 2011 and if I am a successful candidate to China, I will need to write a letter to inform them and there might be a chance that I will be kicked out or have to compensate. But I must inform them LATEST 2 months before 17 Apr, which is 17 Feb. What if I still can't get a confirmed answer by then? Even if they're really nice to keep that place for me, it's going to be really very difficult to throw 2 students who're going for exam in July. There's another 2 girls who're total beginners, been with me since my second lesson and now improving and getting better! It aches to let other people teach them on my behalf in another manner.

I also have 2 young kids under my care. Finding a relief teacher is possible, but who? They are the toughest students and in fact, I'm afraid that they would prefer the new teacher and will never want me to go back.

Another one is my Netball commitment. I am so happy that I am one of the calling leaders again for the new year. BUT, if I were to go China, I have to trouble the committee to reshuffle the groupings and to assign a new calling leader. *Sighs*

In today's training, they announced that they're aiming to send a team to Thailand for friendly matches and that would be based on attendance. I really want to go. Even without this Thailand thing, I can't afford to be away for 5 months without training. I am already so lousy. If I were to be away for 5 months, I'm afraid that my skills will drop all the way back to primary school level. 5 months without attendance? Hmm.. :-( I really enjoy training sessions....

Next will be my dong-dong-qiang lesson. I just changed a teacher and started learning a lot of new stuffs. Less than 5 months time and I'm gone again? If I were to go to China for 5 months, I would have to terminate lessons. Moreover, I couldn't take grading exams which will be held in May! This is crap because I've been practicing for this since June last year. Even if I come back from China, the pieces I've been practicing is considered OLD SYLLABUS and cannot be used already. Which means, I have to buy new books(freaking expensive) and practice new songs and waste time waste money. For goodness sake, I am already 18 going 19.

And because of my rashness to get out of Singapore, I went to applied for this 5 months overseas intern, which will be a drag to my life. I will waste more years of my life.

What I want to know now is whether am I confirmed an intern over there at China? I NEED TO KNOW IT NOW. It really sucks to be left hanging and there's nothing I can do but to WAIT AND WAIT AND WAIT AND WAIT. Seriously, I need the answer so that I can plan.

:-(

Youth campaign

2010-12-29T02:11:00.001+08:00

"Auntie, 'scuse me," some boy working at Fairprice asked me to give way to him as he was moving some stocks around. Ok, the main point here is the first word, "AUNTIE". I should be used to it already since it's not the first time I've been called an Auntie.

Other than Auntie, I've been called M'am, Madam and so on...

The question is, "HELLO!!! DO I REALLY LOOK THAT OLD?"

The funny thing is also how some people commented that I looked less than my age. So what is it now? Am I really some chao lao person?!

At first, I thought it was the attitude problem. Since my face is always $_$, I love promotions, sales, free gifts and all, I behaved quite like a typical Singaporean auntie. It was only until yesterday when I was shopping at Fairprice and this boy called me an Auntie then I realised I do looked like one.

The only assumption I can make to throw myself into self-denial is that this young, immature boy assumed that every female in Fairprice is an auntie.

Fine, I dressed like one and behaved like one. I thought I was quite cool because nobody in my age group knows what items are on offer in which supermarkets(I got all those info from my mom though. So I am not the real auntie). After a while, I came to my senses.

I am only 18 years old and already acting like an auntie, as if I'm a married women, learning how to be a good wife when in fact, I don't even have a boyfriend to start with. This is worse than a 黄脸婆.

Basically, I want to be a youth again. Enough of this self-assumption that I am very independent that I can go out alone, eat alone, watch movies alone etc. I CANNOT BE SO ANTI-GOING-OUT-WITH-FRIENDS ANYMORE. I was not like this previously. I need to be hanging around with friends more often, need to cut down on my working hours and to really get a youthful life.

I've always wanted to do New Year resolutions and always quite lazy to do it. I'm going to do it now! Hehe.

Lead a youthful life
Stop doing things alone
45KG !
Stop being so obsessed about my body and fats
Eat normal meals
Fine-tune back to the healthy digestive system

Basically, it's the youth I'm looking for now. Eighteen only, it's like the peak of my youth!!! Yet I lost it. I was trying to find my youth and I think the best place is friendster.com!!! It really reflects youth not only in myself, but also in many of my friends who went through the young youth crazy phase!

Go back to friendster and check out your friends' photos! Some are quite entertaining. hehe.

Vulnerable

2010-11-22T01:04:00.000+08:00

Despite feeling extremely vulnerable on the roads and not having a good sense of judgement, I drove back home from Pasir Ris.

I made two big mistakes, but I managed to avoid accidents. Another car flashed me with its high beam.

Why oh why!!!!!!

WHY CAN'T I BE TALENTED EVEN IN THE MOST BASIC THING LIKE DRIVING?!

This is why

2010-11-10T00:22:00.000+08:00

I know I'm fat but didn't realise I was THAT FAT!! I know I eat a lot but I didn't realise I REALLY EAT A LOT!!! Until I browse through my holiday photographs. I kept eating... And my face is so round!

Look at my tray which is FULL.

Mom waiting for me to finish my endless amount of food.

Still eating... Bro also waiting for me to finish my food.

Eating Ice-cream. There's still 2 pieces of chocolate cakes in the bowl.

I will buy this Ice-Cream everytime I stepped into a convenience store. Yummy.


Chocolate and vanilla. The best thing is that I can slowly eat it. It will never melt, wahaha.

Gaining weight is so easy and enjoyable(only the process of eating is enjoyable). But the consequences are quite depressing. Losing weight is so much tougher compared to gaining weight. I cut down on my food intake already but still, not much progress!! I think maybe, I ate too much for breakfast. My breakfast is really A LOT. I can tahan till about 3pm or even 4pm and not feel hungry at all. Recently, I realised it's quite unhealthy to do this.

Actually, breakfast and lunch should have a time gap of about 4-5hours. Tomorrow, I will control my breakfast intake and will eat proper vegetarian lunch at 1.30pm. My friends, PLEASE HELP ME OK. Especially when it comes to buffet and ice-cream. My next ice-cream treat is at FEB 2011, so before that, do not tempt me with ice-cream. I will try to control as well.

So angry and disappointed

2010-11-03T22:55:00.000+08:00

with myself.

I succumbed to temptations and went to eat pizza hut with my classmate during the 3 hours break. Even though I didn't eat any poultry meat, chilli, cheese powder, soft/sweet drinks(I ordered hot tea), I still gained fats. I don't know why I absorb fats so readily.

You may think I'm exaggerating here. But seriously, I have a tummy which may be mistaken for being pregnant for 5 months already. My double chin is appearing... My fat legs and arms...

I know it's very unhealthy to be overly-obsessed with my weight. But isn't it more unhealthy to be consuming excess fats, oils and other unhealthy stuffs?

I'm really very sad and disappointed. I hope I won't make such a mistake again. Pizza hut is a banned place for me from now on.

Once in a lifetime

2010-10-01T13:12:00.001+08:00

On the roads
I witnessed an accident right in front of my very own eyes 2 weeks ago. It happened at the road junction outside my house. I was waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. Opposite was the entrance to mindef, and there was a bus(its size was equivalent to a usual school bus), ferrying a group of soldiers. Behind the bus was a small car(If I didn't see wrongly, I think it's a KIA picanto. Or something of that size.) Also, a van and another bigger car following behind. When my eyes were on these, the bus started rolling backwards. It seemed like slow motion and I heard a loud "Bang!". It sounded and felt like I'm watching an accident in the movie theatre. Not fake at all, but not as real too. The picanto behind the bus was pushed backwards and it turned 90degrees to its left. The van following behind the picanto turned 180degrees and the car behind the van turned 90degrees as well. Everything was pushed backwards, covering the left lane of the main road. To me, watching from the other side of the road, it felt like a few pieces of lego or toy cars colliding into each other.

The banging sound is exactly what you can hear from a car accident on the TV. You know when you see someone is in danger, for example, your friend crossing the road when a car is approaching fast, you'll definitely pull your friend's arm back on the pedestrians walking pavement. I had this urge to pull the "arms" of the picanto, but I couldn't do anything but to watch helplessly.

Eventually, the picanto's driver alighted and I can see she's having a serious headache. Fortunately, I don't think she's seriously injured. Some soldiers came down to help her and some were making phone calls. I managed to cross over and took a closer look of what had just happened. Accidents... Even though it wasn't a very serious accident, I was quite traumatised by it. I thought, what if one day I happened to be involved in an accident too. It is not very difficult to be in an accident. One second of not concentrating enough when you drive can be really fatal.

The other day when I was having my driving lesson, it happened. Many times of escaping banging into the side road kerbs and even crossing pedestrians, it still happened. I was reversing to get out of the parking lot. Because I forgot to check the back, I heard a soft bang. It felt like two balloons(harder ones. Maybe a softer version of a solid stone) crashing into each other, on the verge of bursting but it did not. Instead, both balloons bounced back and repelled at once. This was the feeling I got on the driver's seat inside the car. After that, I felt like crying. What have I just done... Will there be dents? I was in a state of shock. My instructor quickly went down to check out the work I've done. Many other driving instructors looked into my direction upon the bang and many gathered around to see my masterpiece. I dare not get out of the car so I just sat timidly in the car. My instructor said it's just a little bit of scratch but I don't know if he's lying or not because they spent quite some time analysing my abstract work. That driving lesson, I drove like a snail and my engine stalled more than twice. I really felt very vulnerable on the roads. 马路如虎口好真实真的要很小心才可以

***

Security
I experienced activating a shopping mall's alarm twice. I stepped into the closed shop because I forgot something without realising that there's an alarm on standby mode. The alarm immediately rang off. I jumped up(not exaggerating!) That was when I know what exactly is "cold sweat". I had cold sweat that very second. I didn't know what to do and I felt like I'm a criminal who's so guilty when I in fact did nothing wrong at all. I stood at the entrance, expecting a security rushing to me, pointing a gun at me. But no, I waited for so damn long but nobody bothered me. Passers-by were really just passers-by because they just passed by and didn't bother me. They just looked and they really passed by me!! I gave up waiting for the inefficient securities and proceeded into the shop and made a phone call to the securities. They picked up the call sounding like they didn't know the alarm was sounded. It was quite funny. I called and informed my manager and the big boss. Then the alarm stopped so it was quite alright. After everything was settled, I walked out of the shop, and ta-dah! The alarm went off again. HAHA, I really gave up and just went off. Come to think of it, it was really a once in a lifetime experience to sound a shopping mall's alarm twice and eventually walking out of the mall safe and not feeling any tinge of guilt.

I love $

2010-09-04T02:11:00.000+08:00

It's becoming an obsession. I know it's not very healthy, but how can anyone can just the money fly away right in front of your eyes?

Even if I have no time to study for the exams, I will never say never to $.

Bye 80%! Hi $$$$$!!!!

$_$

$_$

$_$

Train-ing my way

2010-08-27T02:11:00.001+08:00

Because I stopped buying the bus concession since it's now $52 instead of the previous $50, I started taking more train services as they're faster. Even though it's only a mere 10% chance to get a seat in the train, it's really fast and convenient. Some amusing happenings I observed while I'm on the train today.

Tourists
I guess, due to YOG, there are more tourists these few days. In the train itself, there were some HK tourists. They were quite annoying. They talked loudly, dragging their luggage around as if the train was not packed enough. Then some people(who were sitting) left. These tourists just chionged with their luggage, pushed their way through to the empty seats. I wouldn't have noticed them until one of them literally pushed me aside.

Another angmoh I met at the platform looked kind of lost. I was walking around(because I was lost too). Seeing her looking lost, I slowed down a bit for her to approach me to ask for directions. I wanted to try helping. (Anyway, she was looking for the exit.) I was expecting something like "Er hi, sorry excuse me, may I know where is the exit?" Ok. Maybe something more casual, "Hi, do you know how to get out of here?" But no! She stared right into my eyes (because I was making an eye contact for her to approach me easily) and gave me a straight expression without even smiling. "Exit?" was all she said with the angmoh accent. At first, I didn't know what she was saying. So I replied, "Sorry?" (In case she don't understand "HUH?!") She went "EXIT! Where?" all demanding. And because I myself was lost, I couldn't reply her. At the end, she said "Thank you" though. But still, I thought that wasn't very nice.

Anyway, the point here is that everyone (I think mainly locals) think that Singaporeans are very rude and not well-mannered. However, I think that overly-generalised. Of course I don't mean I am very polite and well-mannered since I'm a Singaporean. But I don't think I'm very very rude. Maybe sometimes a little bit only. Even some people from other countries are rude as well. We can't just take into considerations the few representatives of the nation. It is not whether you are a Singaporean, or a Hongki, or a Korean, or a Japanese, or an Angmoh. It's purely based on you yourself individually.

***

What to do

2010-08-24T10:28:00.001+08:00

I will never understand how busy a person can be and you will never understand how busy I am. There's only 24 hours per day and everyone shares the same timing. But why do some people achieve more than the others?

Just stop thinking too much into things. I am lazy to think either.

World of hope

2010-08-10T21:18:00.000+08:00

Happy 45th birthday Singapore!

It's probably that one day out of the entire year that my love for Singapore couldn't be more. I had only 3 red tops and I wore one yesterday. It felt really good to see other people wearing red/white too. When the nation comes together as one, celebrating for Singapore, I was touched.

Nevermind the days where I complained about SG transportation, people here etc... No one can deny it's really fortunate to be born here. Safe from all natural disasters, accessibility within the country etc... The facilities here were more than sufficient. And a well-known university here, Noos!!!!! I'm well-fed, well-sheltered in this small island. Sometimes, I think I had so many things to do in this tiny island that I can't bring myself to leave for another country for a holiday(although I want to get out badly.) That's how full a life for me in SG can be.

Jobs are easily available too. It's just a matter of fact whether you want to do it or not. For me, as long as it's at least $5 per hour, I'm fine with it. Holiday part-time job here I come!

Busy life in Singapore. But it feels good to be busy without having to go to school.
Of course if it's school stuffs, I won't be enjoying my busy life. I love to wake up so early in the morning and NOT go to school.

It feels good to know everyone else is working hard towards something they want to achieve, no matter where they are. Somehow, these little things motivate me as well.

I seldom make a wish (I even acted like I made a wish when I cut birthday cakes). If I had a chance to do that, I will not let it pass. I wished that the people around me and of course myself to be healthy. Recently, I learned that health is really very precious. Never ever take it for granted just because you are still young.

I'm not so noble

2010-08-06T03:12:00.000+08:00

Thanks to the radio test where I get to see so many interesting people. There was one who was a super volunteer. She's a mom, very tanned. And she's bald.

I will never dare to shave my head for the community. She did it. Her life was wholly dedicated to volunteering, helping the community. It's when I don't judge people solely on appearance.

There's nothing like "She has a tummy", "Her arms are so flabby", "Why is her legs so skinny" kind of thoughts. People who does beautiful stuffs are beautiful naturally. That's because I know she's doing all these volunteering. What if I met her just on the street! I think I will still be very superficial. That's very sad but it's really quite difficult NOT TO be superficial when I look at strangers.

I watched the TV and I saw the people playing their part to help the poorer community in Nepal. I am really a fortunate soul to have a city life. But everyday, what I'm thinking was "By the end of this month, I must get a XXX certificate." or "By the end of the month, I must learn how to XXX." Everything revolves around myself and myself. Before I decide to do anything(Other than school), I will think of money. Will the skill/experience be helpful in the future? Will the skill make money?

Why do people have different priorities in life? Why some people can just help other people and not themselves? Why some people have the thought of "钱带不进棺材"(Money can't bring into the coffin) so what's the point of making money?

It makes me feel so guilty. When I'm doing volunteering work, I will keep thinking of the day allowance(very little, but still it's money) and the CIP hours(CCA points!!!). I wonder if I will continue to volunteer after I graduate. Even the volunteering work I'm doing is not very helpful to the community. If I had the chance, I will want to experience overseas volunteering one day.

But sadly, I'm still living in a city and wants to quit school so badly when the children in Nepal regard education as a luxury. On top of that, I'm superficial and I love money.
What a disgrace.

我發現

2010-07-15T01:59:00.002+08:00

時間過得超快！

待會兒希望能夠去看野田妹的完結篇。這我期待已久的一部電影。前篇的光碟已經上市了不過真的貴到可以等大減價時才買！

看完這類的電影後我的感觸應該會很多吧。要結束了。
要和這將近4年的伴侶說再見了。
天下無不散之宴席我會想念野田妹的

累到不行

2010-07-05T00:19:00.003+08:00

虽然我的眼睛好像整容整失败后的样子，但至少我还活着。

Worse than school days

2010-06-23T21:24:00.000+08:00

This week is felt worse than school days in terms of the level of tiredness. I usually can stay up all night to do my work. But as for today, I felt really heavy I don't think I can put this up any longer.

My head is so heavy and I think the skin around my eyes are getting thinner it's peeling off. Can't wear contacts these few days. Dangerous.

Approved studio bookings and I really need some sleep.

Hi I'm damn good at procrastinating

2010-06-21T23:08:00.000+08:00

That's why I'm so busy.

我等到花儿也谢了

2010-06-18T00:32:00.000+08:00

Can't wait for the Finale!

I specially stood outside PS GV ticket box because I wanted to watch the trailers on the big screens.

I was waiting for Nodame Cantabile's Trailer. Yes, I think I'm a little bit crazy.

It was playing some Nicholas Cage's movie then I realised the top right hand corner screen was defective, and that part was suppose to screen when is the movie coming out. I quickly turned to find another big screen because I'm afraid when it's showing Nodame, I can't see the releasing date.

Wah, immediately when I turned, the big screen from the other side was playing Nodame trailer!!!!! I couldn't see the date. I practically RAN over to the other side just to watch the trailer!

15 JULY!!!!!

At the same time, I think I will feel damn sad and empty after everything comes to an end.

Toy Story 3

2010-06-12T00:59:00.002+08:00

I'm usually not a fan of animated movies. Quite neutral towards it, but if I can choose whether to watch it or not, no thanks... Hahaa. Of course there're some animated films which I think are nice and I enjoyed myself. Finding Nemo was one which I enjoyed. I watched it thrice. Once in the cinema, once on television, and once at the school library as my locvid tutor set it as our homework.

After analysing the story structure in class, I find it more amusing.

Maybe I'm someone who doesn't have childhood. I was quite lost when my classmates were talking about Lion King. Then, our tutor told us to watch Toy Story and almost the entire class watched it before already and I do not know about the movie. The toy characters were familiar to me, but I never watched the movie before.

Watched it in the school library, and yea, not bad. I didn't fall asleep.(FYI, I usually fall asleep in movies.) But for film genres like action, I will definitely not fall asleep. And I am quite amazed that animation action can be quite entertaining too. Didn't know that Andy had so many new toys since Toy Story 1.

So, after browsing through the new toys in Toy Story 3, my favourite(based on appearance), is the green pea toy! PEAS-IN-A-POD.

Haha. Look at the peas' innocent looking face. Round black eyes do the job. Other than it's so cute, another reason is because I LOVE TO EAT THEM. You know it's those japanese green peas you'll get to see in Sakae Sushi. Although they're a bit hairy, the feeling of squeezing the peas out and POP it into your mouth is really very 爽(Shiok)!! I like its taste too.

The only sad thing is that I get to see the "food" but I can't eat. I remember there was once a news stating that the green pea toy made in China had some poison and children are advised not to bite on the toy. Eventually, they recalled the poisonous toys.

Even though it cannot be eaten, it can be SQUEEEEEEZED. I feel that it's more like a pressure toy. Young children will learn how to put the peas back after popping and squeeezing them out.

Anyway I still prefer the edible green pea. Ah, hungry!!

---

Have you seen the trailer?
I won't usually remember trailers for a long time. But for Toy Story 3's trailer, there's one scene which is epic. It's also my favourite scene in the trailer. Andy's new toy, KEN(Yes, Barbie's boyfriend) walked out of the box, and the moment he sees Barbie, THE SONG GOES, "Take my breathe away~~~~~~" Good music choice!! Haha the total 180 degrees change of mood made me laugh. It's so dramatic. I can totally imagine Ken and Barbie at the beach, running towards each other, and the best part - everything's in SLOW MOTION, with the "Take my breathe away~~~~" chorus.

Haha!! It's so funny. Music really plays an important role in films.
That scene is from 0.37 onwards!

Catch Toy Story 3 Movie starting from 17th June 2010 and join the official Facebook and Twitter page!

Forgetful

2010-06-07T18:53:00.000+08:00

There was radio presentation test today and I'm very smart. I didn't bring my CDs. Haha. Quickly phoned my mom and asked her to fetch my CDs over. Luckily I was in time. Just in time.

When I reach home, my mom told me she drove into the bus lane and passed by a red light. Wow. That's so exciting. If she were to get fined, I think I will pay the fines...

But still, I'm very thankful to her. In order to thank her for everything, I bought her an apple pie from MacDonalds.

I'm such a filial daughter.

Like a dagger

2010-06-06T22:22:00.001+08:00

You said, "How can you become a teacher? You so lousy."

Even though I know it's a fact, I still feel hurt.

Sucks to be untalented.

Post sundown

2010-06-03T23:05:00.001+08:00

I went to jog 10km around my house to "replace" what I didn't do on Sundown. I wore the Sundown singlet and the exact same attire I wore for that day and off I went! Honestly, I'm really growing old... I used to finish 10km with a little struggle. But today, I dread the run, especially the beginning. It was hard to start off. Really take my hat off those full marathon runners!

Submitted my prototype assignment today and you know what!!! I forget to submit the printed version of my prototype and my sitemap!!! Soft copy I only include my prototype. Oh gosh, which means I HAVE TO RUSH back to school after sending my brother off to his NS! Sian!!! Ok, and if Mr Shan is not happy with me, then good luck to myself. School's been quite bad, but not too bad because time flies! I will graduate soon. It's just every Sunday night to Wednesday that I will feel very sian because the start of the week is more tedious and a lot of work to do.

The 2 weeks Holiday is so not holiday for me. So leave me alone unless you want to eat breakfast with me. Thanks.

No time but...

2010-06-02T23:53:00.000+08:00

I'm getting old. I don't have enough time to master something that I wanted. I don't think I'm going for it anymore. I didn't have a headstart, neither a chance to be experienced in bands. It's a sad thing, but I believe if I let go of this dream, I will have another dream. Meanwhile, I'll practice more.

Watched Departures in school today. I didn't know how to get CCA points so in the end I just left the place after the screening of the movie. Quite sian actually. I even missed my radio practice to finish up the movie. Quite bad. I'm crashing the studio on Friday to practice if possible. Hopefully nobody's there!!!!!!

Death comes sooner or later. Maybe I should slow down and take a look at what's around me. Maybe I should leave some time empty just for myself.

If I can't get into University locally, I know what I can do already. Definitely a carefree life. U don't know how much I look forward to graduation!! I want to be free from all these and have enough sleep. So that I can become a morning person and eat sumptuous breakfast every morning! I LOVE BREAKFAST AND BREAD!!!

Competition!

2010-05-31T00:14:00.000+08:00

Congratulations to Miss Chan Ning for making it into the finals!!

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!

And good job to Beatrice, Xin Ying, Amanda, Liqi, Jun Ming and myself for having that much courage to talk on the stage.

Back to reality now! Feeling a little stuck with my timings. Time flies like mad and I'm getting old... Will the youth symphony be available still? Will I be good enough to join them? The thing about audition is quite scary.

When you are young, you have 1000 dreams. You have 1000 kind of different lives you want to live when you grow up. You have 1000 different kind of ambitions.

When the journey begins with you trying to reach your dreams, you get rejected, one dream down. Another dream down. Slowly, as you grow older, you have no dreams to pursue anymore. And because you are old, you need to survive. You have nobody to rely on. You have to support yourself, and your family. You need a job. You worked like mad to get a basic salary just for survival. You neglect all the dreams you had when you were young.

I'm getting old. Slowly, the number of dreams I had are also diminishing. I will want to at least fulfill ONE dream before I turn older, before I have nothing left to pursue and had to work like a mad dog just to survive.

Serene said, "Wherever you are, I hope you never stop dreaming, because they do come true."

Can I make it in time?

First and the last

2010-05-30T01:34:00.000+08:00

This is my 2nd time joining a marathon and this time round, it's only 10km. The excitement wasn't as much as 21km run. However, Sundown is quite a disappointment. Partly, it's my fault as well.

First, I am disgusted by the long hours I have to queue to get my race pack. The number of counters were pathetic and the volunteers led me to the WRONG category queue at first. As compared to SC marathon, I went there, they led me, no queue(the number of counters were quite scary) got my stuffs and left. It took me only about 5 minutes.

Secondly, I didn't get to run today because I was late when I reached Pasir Ris. And the queue for the shutter bus was hell long! I reached the mrt station at about 7.15pm and queued all the way to 9.15pm. My race flagged off at 7.30pm. I knew I couldn't run already, but I still want to try my luck. That was why I waited on. At 9.15pm, the volunteers just informed us that there'll be no more shutter buses and told the runners to either take cab and walk about 3km(in fact, it's about 4km!) to the starting line. But the 21km runners can't start after 9.30pm. Many people were flared up.

The venue is very very ulu. The journey of getting home was tough. I felt quite empty since I took mrt all the way to Pasir Ris, queued for nothing for a few hours, then come back to the west again. Waste time + money.

Hmm, but it's my fault to leave home so late.

So... SC marathon is so tempting now that I missed Sundown. BUT I GOT WORK ON THAT DAY... Not sure if I can change the schedule or not. I want to feel the flat flat tummy after running 21km again! but it will be inflated again after I drink a lot of fluid. hehe.
***

And, Wang Yu Jia's piano recital is full house!! I can't even get one ticket!!! Quite sian.

I hope tmr will be a better day.

Thanks

2010-05-24T01:59:00.002+08:00

Your appearance isn't much of a help.

Dream

2010-05-03T02:46:00.000+08:00

Orchestra is my dream.

***

(L)

2010-04-16T03:39:00.001+08:00

2010-04-15T00:40:00.000+08:00

If I didn't practice for a day, only I know it.

If I didn't practice for 2 days, the critics know it.

If I didn't practice for 3 days, the public knows it. (Everyone knows it)

Since all of you know that I didn't practice,

我真的必須面壁思過，反省反省！

YYL RECHARGE!

2010-04-10T00:49:00.002+08:00

(L)!!!!!!!

天才地才蠢才

2010-04-05T22:57:00.002+08:00

Recently, after having realised that "noos" is such a recognised university in Asia, and even in the world, my desire of wanting to study there increased by 50%! I am not a gifted/talented person, therefore, my goal is extremely tough to achieve.

Even 天才 has to put in the effort and hardwork to be a recognised 天才 because nowadays, 天才s are quite common as well. Not as common as you(maybe you're not a commoner) and I, but definitely a handful of them are. 強中自有強中手... 高手如雲... For commoners like myself has to work a lot more times harder to be part of them(高手).

It's either you succeed, to become a 稱職的地才, or you fail to be labelled as a 蠢才.

你會要當強中手中的弱者，或者弱者中里的強者？
而且，有些事情真的努力就可以了嗎？因為我沒有很努力（我承認。），所以也沒辦法體會。

我好像念NOOS這間大學。

Lucky lucky lucky

2010-03-28T16:54:00.000+08:00

In my 17, going 18 years of life, I NEVER EVER HAD ANY LUCK IN ANY LUCKY DRAWS. My luck always falls in some radio on air competition. Recently, I think I'm listening more to symphony fm, it's been 3 months I have not won anything from 933. Therefore, I HAD LUCK IN LUCKY DRAW!!(I think...)

Friday's Sports Salute Night at SRC was !!!! The food was great. I admit I couldn't control myself and ate hell loads of stuffs. Netball section had a lot of luck in the lucky draw as well!! Helen won wireless headphone, Jenny won Sony digital camera and myself won a mini sound system! Wanted to get a new one the other time because the old one in my room is not working well. The CD cover lid could not close, I have to use something heavy to force it close. Now that I won one in the lucky draw, DON'T HAVE TO BUY ALREADY! MAD LUCKY!

Want to be skinny.

2010-03-22T15:04:00.000+08:00

Enough of the self-esteem. Fat means fat. Ugly means ugly.

Made a huge bet with Amanda. By July, to lose 5 kg. SGD100 is on. You should help me. Scold me if I'm eating too much. Reject my help if I want to help you finish your leftovers. DO NOT EAT FAST FOOD IF YOU'RE OUT WITH ME. Ask me out for exercise instead of movies or ktv. I really envy skinny people..

Busy living in fantasy.

2010-03-22T14:57:00.000+08:00

I love Nodame!

2010-03-16T01:38:00.004+08:00

Anime to Live action and MOVIE now!! Watched Nodame Cantabile the movie (I) at PS today. I missed the days when I'm obsessed with the Live Action version, then I went to watched the Anime. Really obsessed, then I practiced piano frequently in hope to be as good as them. The frequency of me listening to Symphony 92.4FM increases and visits to the Library@Esplanade will make me a happy girl. I signed up for the premier membership that time as well, so that I could borrow CDs and music scores. But it expired and I didn't renew it since NP library has the CD resources, but of course I feel that Esplanade library has got more stuffs. Oh well, NP library is FOC...

The movie is more of their life in Paris. Nodame studying and Chiaki conducting. The orchestra performance was very touching! People around me was laughing, but I felt so touched I wanna cry.

HAHA @ Chiaki's Grandpa glasses & unique hairstyle.

HAHAHAAH!!!

Cute! I like her!!!(more than Chiaki)

Alot of the people watched the movie because of Chiaki I think. Because when Chiaki first appeared in the movie, the girls beside me were going, "Ah~ He very handsome!! I like him the most" all.

She's playing a Celesta!!!! AH!!!

But... the movie ended quite sadly.. It was left hanging there...

I was extremely sad after the movie, but I don't really know why. Probably it's the post withdrawal syndrome. Recently, it kept happening to me. First, the concert. Now, the movie.

Nevertheless, I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO THE SECOND EPISODE OF THE MOVIE!!! It's coming out on 17.04 in japan... Hm... Again, I can't wait for it to be released in SG, but also don't want it to come so quickly and end so fast...

SECOND EPISODE!!!!

I practiced piano after stopping for 2 weeks(to concentrate on my theory. it's a lousy excuse, but nvm.) From 8.30-11pm!! Around 10pm, my mother was talking behind my back.. She said, "吵死人！" and thought I didn't hear it. But I heard it!!! I was so sad, honestly. But what to do you tell me... Can't imagine what will happen in the future after I get my drumkit. I wished I had an underground bunk..

I had to practice, cannot compromise just because my family is watching tv. I have to be selfish for a while. Anyway, if I failed my exam, my father is at a lost too! Entry fee is $640!!!! KILLER!!!!!!!

Ah~~~~ I miss my music classmates. They're really talented people. I miss their piano playing. Some violins, clarinet and vocals. It's a long journey. I'm moving at a much slower pace, but I do hope that I can see you people at the same destination.

& Great people from the past who composed great music. Grateful.

I love to hear pizzicato. I heard a short pizzicato LIVE at Mr. Rock's concert and I was so touched to tears!!! Live performances never failed to make me cry!!

All-time favourite!

All pictures are from Nodame Cantabile the movie 's official website.

http://www.nodame-movie.jp

13/03

2010-03-14T02:26:00.000+08:00

Theory exam is finally over! I had double vision for a while after concentrating for a full 3 hours! I think I really put in a lot of effort in this, even if I can't get the hedy king's money, I won't mind. I got all the italian terms correct!!! I just checked!!! I am so lucky to get the easy terms! Lucky german terms didn't come out! I am so happy that it's over now!

After that, went to Mr. Rock's concert! I am feeling very sad and sian now. This is the first time I have this feeling after a concert. Usually, I will still feel very high and happy and amazed. Mr. Rock....

I AM MOTIVATED TO PRACTICE SCALES.

Nodame Cantabile on Monday! Practice practice practice! I will work hard for my dreams/money. I must. And I am going to add Weiqi on my list... it's going to be tough!

我的年夜飯。

2010-03-10T02:51:00.003+08:00

遲到了，但是好過沒到。

＊＊＊
除夕的前幾天，舅母生了個可愛的男寶寶。他的名字我很喜歡，叫佐樂。

＊＊＊
那之外，除夕夜最重要的就是年夜飯！！超級豐盛的一餐！超多，可以吃上三，四天！今年的焦點是大蝦！當我說大蝦，他真的是大蝦！大，大，真的超大的。

一人只有一隻！因為太大了。但是好像真的太大，有的就兩個人供吃一隻，所以有剩。我年初一吃了第二隻。肉很結實！口感超爽！

和龍蝦有得比！但我還是喜歡龍蝦。嘿嘿。。

其餘的菜包括了：

這是甚麼？我也不清楚。好像鴨腳的膠質類似的。不過味道我可是很清楚的。讚！

青菜（不曉得是甚麼菜。菜心嗎？）和 Scallop！

這是每年必有的！！我很愛！皮蛋！！

菜花和（那是干貝嗎？）我只會吃，不懂菜的名字。。

美味！極品！豬腳！超讚的啦！

相信每個人過年都會吃到的鮑魚！加上海生和香菇。好吃！

清蒸魚！

重頭戲！佛跳牆！外婆和外公的廚藝真的是沒話說。我每個週末都一定要上門吃晚餐！一定會肥的，不過真的很棒。說著，我多麼期待星期天的到來。星期六不能上去了，因為有演唱會。。

一大鍋的佛跳牆！

當然少不了魚翅湯！也是一大鍋的！

爽！

撈魚生！看起來很噁心，不過味道很讚。

我的年夜飯就是這樣。吃了很多。每天都去外婆家吃。幸福的很！！！；）

今年我小賭而已，一點不過癮。酸。也沒甚麼去拜年，幾乎每天都上外婆家。這點我喜歡。外婆的廚藝我愛。衣服很爛但我成天都在外婆家每人看所以也沒關係。

總而言之，農曆新年我最愛的就是年夜飯＋賭博了！

好餓！

Food poisoning

2010-03-06T00:09:00.000+08:00

caused high fever and laosai. Rested for 3 days!

I recovered and still as fat as ever, so don't worry my friends!

Later is the concert, next week will be preparing for the gala night, 12/03 will be the gala night itself and 13/03 will be my big day in 2010.

It's an important date.

1) My theory exam!! After so long, I'm finally taking another theory exam. I kind of lost the tension of this exam. I NEED TO STUDY!! I only remembered I had a good time eating dessert with my mom after my previous theory exam. That aside, I'm very scared ah. JYJY!

2) MR ROCK's concert!!!!!!!!!!! HBS LET'S ROCK SIS!!!! AH CAN'T WAIT AH. BUT I DON'T WANT IT TO END SO FAST ALSO. Hm... so 矛盾...

Bad.

2010-02-21T03:16:00.000+08:00

20Feb was quite a bad day.

First, I went to Edward's house for visiting. Nobody(in my class) went except for me so I felt kind of weird with him and all his secondary school friends. Luckily after that I don't really care when we started gambling. Won money, then lost some money too. I didn't really count though. But the sad thing is when I was walking to the toilet, I accidentally kicked a bottle of alcohol they were drinking on the ground, BESIDE THE PIANO. Hell. I swear I really didn't see that bottle!! Alcohol on the piano! I was feeling more than guilty, honestly. I don't know how they reacted so calmly to it... That expensive alcohol they bought was spilled! It was wasted! Probably they don't know me, that's why don't really dare to express their anger. That aside, a few thousand worth piano was at stake! Piano can't collect dust, as it will affect the wood quality and eventually affect the sound quality. Piano can't touch water as Wood + Water = Seh Gor (the growth of the white spots on the wood i think it's a kind of fungi?)

Then what more alcohol? It'd be worse right! I was feeling extremely bad I wanted so much to reverse time. If only I was more careful... If that happened to my piano, I would have cried on the spot, threatening to kill the person who spilled the alcohol. Then, I went for piano lesson, forgetting to take back my oranges and the cute plastic bag.

Piano lesson made my day even worse. Theory homework was pathetic!! 73!! Extremely horrible. Mr Ng was so disappointed. My average score was 82-86 kind, Merit. And the previous one was distinction 92, but I checked on the net for some musical terms. But still, 73 was so bad. I felt like giving up.. Practical was worst! I really need to get motivation.. I really have to regain the determination to practice piano at least 2 hours per day. I was reading my previous xanga journal just now. It was during the horrible O level period + many obstacles with my O level Music Practical pieces. Every arrow shot into me by my classmates and teacher pushed me to practice like crazy. Time constraints and skills constraints. But I managed to pass that period of time, what's with me now? I feel like a total fool and noob. My exam pieces now are about the same level of difficulty and a few are simpler!

I guess, I have to watch Secret / Nodame Cantabile again some time soon. On a side note, Nodame Cantabile's movie is finally coming out on 11 March! It's been so long since I watched a movie without falling asleep. This will definitely be the one hit which will keep me motivated to practice for sure!! I am so sure!

And I know how much I love piano, even though I don't really spend time with it.

& I am sure that
I WILL BE PLAYING PIANO ALL THE WAY TILL THE DAY I AM GONE, EVEN IF MY SKILLS STAY AT THIS LEVEL FOREVER.

Sian

2010-02-08T20:43:00.002+08:00

This time round, I couldn't even pass the Audition. :(

Can't wait for 18.

2010-02-01T23:53:00.000+08:00

Today while I was on my way to school, I heard a smooth, yet stable engine. I saw a BMW cabriolet. With a triangle sign.

Then while walking pass the big carpark outside block 50, I saw another low cabriolet(can't see the brand) but it was in bright yellow, with the triangle smacked right in the middle of the windscreen. Maybe it's out of purpose. Thanks, I think my triangle sign will be on a family car, Honda Stream. -____-"

I can live without branded goods for anything and everything, with the exception of cars.

Car introduced during Marcomm lecture. AMAZING MUCH. The first Hard-top by BMW. Hahaha.

就算我拼了老命工作，这辈子都不可能驾这种车子。

回到现实了。Honda Stream <3 -___-"

While I'm busy

2010-02-01T02:53:00.000+08:00

I met quite a lot of cosplayers in school on Saturday because of an event held in School by the JTC. Most of them were really good! Really cool and 3/5 of my locvid team managed to take a picture with Kakashi and Tenten from Naruto! I don't anime and I don't know them also. But still, I can feel the coolness!

It's not over yet

2010-01-27T03:01:00.000+08:00

See, my team mate got her ez-link back because some nice souls returned the card to Clementi MRT station as the card has NP on it. Very nice and lucky. So, all that anger and sadness is wasted!

I lost my water bottle today, feeling a little sad, but I believe it will be back to me again because I don't think anyone would want to steal my water bottle. It is not branded and it is not very beautiful. Even if it's gone forever, I will let it go, even if it's just a water bottle.

舊的不去，新的不來。
但是有時候舊的已經走得遠遠了，新的還是還沒來，這中間的空檔叫做甚麼呢？滿滿的期待。

When I'm free

2010-01-25T03:33:00.000+08:00

Ok, I really want to blog about my Hokkaido trip, but currently, I don't have time for it man. Even if I have, I would rather use it to watch variety shows/dramas.

Projects and more projects.

Today, my team mate's temper wasn't very good. She lost her card and started hitting herself and crying and losing her temper. Hm, I would be :( too if I lost my ez-link card after a day full of stress, but what can I do? It's already lost. What's done is done. You have $26 inside the card and needa pay another $20 for a replacement fee(I think.). Yes, it's a lot of money. Sometimes, when you magnify your loss(ok, quoting from Cheer Chen again), it's gonna be so painful. If you can think of me losing my macbook charger which cost $150, if you can think of Ning losing her secondary ez-link as frequent as changing clothes, if you can think of people who lose their laptops, if you can think of people who left something important, something that values so much behind, in the bus or anywhere else, then, you will feel so fortunate that what you've left behind is just an ezlink which can be replaced. Some things which was left behind could not be replaced.

Be sad for a while and let it go.
“天生的壞脾氣” 你不可能一輩子都作為你發脾氣的藉口
就好像
“我有打Netball” 不可能一輩子都是我作為我懶惰減肥的藉口

CUTE.

2010-01-21T01:33:00.001+08:00

AH~ SO CUTE!

沒有discipline

2010-01-05T01:09:00.002+08:00

我控制不了了！！！！！！！我今晚一定要看海派甜心！！！！！已經很久很久沒有偶像劇可以讓我把持不住想要追看！！！！不管了！！！！

I can live without the internet.

2010-01-03T12:51:00.000+08:00

Although it would be better if there is. The only good thing about Internet is youtube - so that I can watch TW dramas/variety shows.

But please know that I don't check my inbox everyday every second. X sends email at 1936 reminding of its training the next day at 10am. It's no wonder only 1 person turned up. I don't even know of this thing until just.

Can't wait for it to end. Can't wait to graduate. Can't wait for my lifetime holiday.

I am back!

2010-01-01T04:19:00.000+08:00

I am so fortunate to be in SG, summer has it all. Winter had caused me stinky feet!!!! SHIT STINKY. stay away from me, I stink like hell. Keeping my feet wrapped up for 7 days, sweating like mad even if they(my feet) are feeling cold.. My feet can't breathe and they still stink even after I flooded them with lots of soap :(

Anyway, I had fun! This time round, it's more of sightseeing and only a little bit of shopping. Even if there is, it's only shopping for the biscuits, muah chee, jap green tea.... Unlike the previous trip to TW, it was 100% shopping for clothes and 100% eating. Sightseeing was really great, as snow is like heaven to Singaporeans like myself. It kept snowing!

And yes, the girls over there 99.9% are hotties!! Almost all of them has slim figures, despite the thick winter clothing. Some guys look quite cute, but at the same time quite scary. But the children there 100% damn cute!! hehehe.

***

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2010... So fast! Anyway, I countdown-ed on the plane before it descended. It was kind of awkward because before the countdown, it was very quiet. During the countdown, the cabin crew shouted so loudly, and a few passengers shouted too. Straight after the countdown, right after they shouted "Happy New Year", it was back to the silence again. I feel so funny, haha. Then I listened to "Love, New Year" on the plane. Wa, and I feel like crying on the first second of year 2010. I always do. But for today, it was different. Previously, I feel like crying because the new year's coming was very touching(to me lah). But today, I felt so sad. :(

***

Year 2009, I am fat. Year 2010, I am still fat, or maybe even fatter. My big tummy!

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

2009-12-25T06:48:00.000+08:00

Hello I am in Taoyuan airport now.

The urge wanting to get outdoors to experience the cold weather in TW is killing me. I wanna get my lu rou fan and chua bing.

Idk how to type chinese using zhuyin. and I have 3 hours to spare before my next flight. & I have not brushed my teeth.

GG. Merry xmas !

保持樂觀

2009-12-18T07:30:00.000+08:00

最近，有些我身邊的人都把精神都關注在自己遭遇的小挫折上。一絲的悲傷從他們表現方式，出來的感傷是幾百倍，幾千倍。脾氣不好絕對不是一個好的藉口可以放任你們野蠻地發脾氣。對於周邊的影響很大，我一開始真的很不爽。但是你發脾氣的次數我數都數不清了，而我也麻木了。你發你的脾氣，我做我的事情，不想安慰你，因為只會帶來更多的怒火而已。

雖然我也有隨意亂發脾氣的時候，但是 “狼來了！” 若叫得太多次，最終沒有人會理你，害到的始終是自己。

還有，在做你不想做的事情的同時，你還要在一旁怨東怨西，朋友想要幫忙時又很大方地說 “沒關係啦…”，那幅參雜了大方和極度不甘願的表情我覺得很噁心。

我沒有在針對任何人，因為如果真的有，那就真的很多，那也包括我自己在內。我會試著改進。

＊＊＊

有時候，你的悲傷是自己造成的。
當你遇到傷心的事，就會怨周圍的人。怨他們不願意和你做朋友，怨他們都是一群，而你是自己。接著就把自己丟往這一大坑的悲傷里，同時繼續沈淪，不反省。想想，會不會是自己的自閉，所以他們覺得你很難相處。會不會是自己的態度偏差，所以沒有人敢接近你。會不會是自己說話的語氣太直，所以他們不喜歡聽，才疏遠你。
而你，在抱怨的你，有曾想過怎樣讓自己變成更好的人嗎？

最慚愧的，會不會是因為長相所以沒有人要和你做朋友。這聽起來很壞，但在這世界上，真的會有這種人。這點，我不懂得怎麼發言。我很慚愧，有時看到一些人，我會覺得他們為甚麼要把臉頰畫得像見鬼一樣。我會覺得一些人為甚麼比我這個一天只沖一次涼的人加倍地不衛生。

自嘲篇。

固執的老人

2009-12-10T01:24:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wished people would stop saying "I love you" to everyone you know. I don't feel the love at all, so might as well just shut up. I feel more even for just a simple "Thanks".

好假好假好假！

2009-12-03T02:19:00.002+08:00

我也不例外。

校園生活感覺越來越噁心了。

未知的未來

2009-11-30T23:28:00.002+08:00

之前，我對我的未來沒有期望，只有期待。今天，我對兩者都有所交代。

之前，我有了退休後的計畫。那就是要當德士司機。至於退休前的未來，都是空白。但是今天我有計畫了！我知道以後要幹麼了。

我要當鋼琴老師。就算我知道我這樣會害死很多人，我還是堅持我想要做的這件事。當鋼琴老師每天都可以接觸到鋼琴，那我根本就沒有藉口不練钢琴了。在我可以进步的同时，还可以赚钱。一箭双雕！！！！

没事的话就看看电影，打打麻将，喝杯茶，旅旅行～哈哈哈哈哈，非常好！我自己讲自己爽！！

很好！毕业後我就要教鋼琴，退休後開德士。我的人生規劃好了。我準備好了！來吧，趕快讓我畢業吧，該死的作業永遠都做不完的，去你的！！！！！丟！！！！

拼命碰上無奈

2009-11-27T01:55:00.002+08:00

這個星期過的超快。我又生病了。週一我的喉嚨開始感到乾燥，有點痛。那天我的頭超痛，感覺好暈，有想要吐，但始終沒有吐。攀岩的時候，頭就不痛了。但是，一旦停止攀岩，頭就痛到受不了。我差點就要缺日語課。還好我的意志力堅強（臭美！哈哈！）。

週二就開始輕微咳嗽。週三就咳得更厲害了。週四就發高燒！所以下課後我就到診所看醫生。診所的工作人員給我口罩戴耶！超酷的，我很喜歡。不過家裡沒有，而且我也不知道到哪裡才買得到。在新加坡，戴口罩的人真的很罕見。都把戴口罩的人當作活體細菌，能避則避，不想被傳染。在台灣，真的不一樣。所以我覺得台灣很棒，我喜歡！好想去台灣玩哦。。。

好，轉回話題：最後在付錢的時候，天啊！！！！！超級貴！真的沒有料到。＄70。50！而且，重點是我身上只有＄60！！！貴爆！！！真的神經病！！！生一場病損失那麼多。。。悶啊。。最後陳寧來救我。非常感激。他特地跑到診所來為我還錢。還搭德士送我回家。

謝謝你，陳寧！

有夠噁的

2009-11-23T02:28:00.001+08:00

當你在學校感覺全世界都恨你時，全體師生都恨不得馬上希望你畢業，上學的感覺真的很噁心。趕作業也覺得全世界都在跟你作對。同學就只是同學而已。我真的真的很討厭。上學又不像上學。可能我參與太多於校園無關的活動。可能我就是那麼一點貪心，但是，我真的不是全職學生的料。我覺得很噁心。有時候我超想和世界切斷。生病真好，因為可以給自己很多藉口，一直逃，一直躲。

想想。。。付了好多的錢了。。。悶翻了！！！！！！！！！

要開始做作業了。。。

倒了

2009-11-19T20:06:00.003+08:00

我終於生病了。前幾天，我都在詛咒自己趕快生病因為我的睡眠時間真的少到爆。所以我每天都超級累。生病就能逼我自己睡覺。睡眠時間就會變多。

現在實現了。真的是好的不靈，壞的靈。我明天又不用上課，得趕鋼琴功課，還有上琴課。現在生病了，怎麼辦！星期六我是要去追星（張韶涵）的！生病了，怎麼辦！

以上的真實故事是要告訴你，沒事不要在家裡亂詛咒自己。因為好的不靈，壞的靈啊！！

尬那賽。。。

我終於可以攀岩了！

2009-11-17T00:20:00.008+08:00

原本是中午的課，早上就要出門了。因為今天的課是要到博物館去尋資料寫報告。我到了坐落於Maxwell Road的red dot design museum。來自個國的創意設計助於人們日常生活過得更加輕鬆。居多來自韓國、台灣、德國、法國、美國和中國。至於新加坡嘛。。。哈哈。是有幾個啦。。比較罕見。

＊＊＊

今天攀岩課很酷因為天空奇蹟般地沒下雨！！！當我們正在收拾時，就開始下毛毛雨。真是慶幸。

而且，攀岩看起來很簡單，但其實事實並非如此。是會很累的。加上我是攀岩菜鳥，所以攀上去時都在用手的力量。正確的方法是要利用腳的力量把自己撐上去。真的不簡單！！

＊＊＊

之後回到學校上日語課。教師真的很漂亮，聰明，又有耐心，上他的課我很開心！推動力十足！加油！我要去日本玩！

＊＊＊

為甚麼我用華文打部落格呢？因為我現在的華文水準真的是爛到極點！！！我要進步！繁體字體真的很漂亮，感覺很滿，很充實。你也會這樣覺得吧？還是，字體很難看，所以看我的更新看得很辛苦？

不管怎麼樣，我很喜歡。

It's irritating when I kept repeating

2009-11-16T00:19:00.002+08:00

but I still want to say that I miss Taiwan...

ESPECIALLY THEIR FOOD.
and I want to watch Jam's concert on the 26/12 @ 小巨蛋. It's quite impossible but I live on miracles.

***

I am visiting the red dot museum tomorrow for CATS lesson.. which means I have to wake up early, which means I do not have time to study for my Japanese quiz tomorrow morning, which means I have to study now, which means I will sleep later, which means I will be more tired.

...which means, ehhhhh, PLEASE DO NOT RAIN TOMORROW. Else my mood will be damn bad.

Ever since school starts, every monday is a torture. School is such a torture.
My favourite days are Wednesdays and Fridays!!!!

What's S&W with rain?

2009-11-10T00:30:00.002+08:00

Wasting my sleeping time, avoiding the rain at the storeroom, which has leak!

The "indoor" wall also has leaks. It's the forth week already and I have not climbed! Should've chosen some indoor sports man. Because of this, I really dread S&W. I'm not sweating at all. Sian, hate rainy days.

It was flooding at the storeroom today and it soaked my sneakers(have holes at the side) and socks. So I bought a hideous slippers at a high price of $6.90! I'm depressed for a pair of dry slippers that's why.

NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC PLEASE KINDLY BUILD A TRULY INDOOR SPORTS CLIMBING WALL WITHOUT LEAKS THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

蕭敬騰來了

2009-11-08T01:27:00.003+08:00

Hi! This is Junli, the weekend DJ whom I chatted with him years ago when I called in and we talked about singing retarded songs in KTV. He's very friendly and for so many years, I didn't know how he looked like until today.... errr..

Jam's so cute. He shook my hand the way it's supposed to be!! Star-struck!!!

嘶吼rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today's piano lesson...

2009-10-31T23:58:00.005+08:00

Mr Ng is so humorous.

I don't know what are we talking about, but we suddenly talked about Harp.

Then he commented that... hm, only the rich people can play harp... a harp costs about 50k..

I gave him a stunned look after hearing how much a harp can cost..

He added, "so, we can only play the harp when we're in heaven eh."

***

After I finished playing Mozart on the piano with more than 20 mistakes and at a snail speed, Mr Ng still praised my improvements? And he said it sounded so much better today....

because...

He just tuned his piano today.

Celesta!!!

2009-10-26T23:17:00.002+08:00

Look how cute is this little thing. It's a percussion instrument, definitely not a toy piano. The sound it produces are alike to a music box, it has got the 'magical' feel to it. I WANT ONE!! I am so gonna be an instrument collector in the future if I've tons of money to spare.

5.43 and you'll hear the most familiar thing.

It's so cute, and how many more incredible instruments out there which I do not know yet please tell me I am so curious. Every instrument is so magical I want everything.

Week one gone.

2009-10-24T01:37:00.002+08:00

Monday to Thursday are damn tiring for me.

Although Monday's class starts at 1pm, it ends at 8pm. Tuesday class starts at 9am, ends at 5pm, and training at padang till 9pm. Wednesday lecture day starts 11am, ends 6pm?! And, scc till around 10 plus before going home. Thursday starts at 9am, ends at 6pm!?
Seriously very draining, couldn't really get the info into my brain.

Friday is a freeday, but I did not treasure it. Woke up early and went NYP for brunch. Lost my way while trying to get to balestier from NYP. Lost my way while trying to get to town after that. Ended up at Paya Lebar, I was so upset. I need to get a GPS.

Missed the movie timing, so watched the next timing. 500days of summer.. Quite boring, I don't understand the movie. And I fell asleep for a while. I guess, I'm just so shallow.
Recently, I always fall asleep during movies. I need more sleep man.

***
Nevermind.

SHOCKS & SHIOK LATER ON AT NIGHT!

AND YOURS TRULY IS GOING TO BBQ LATER TOO. :D

1st day of sem2...

2009-10-19T23:55:00.002+08:00

...sucks.

The blues engulfed the moment I alight 184. As usual, I will look at people's skinny legs while climbing the stairs(90% of NP guys had skinny legs) envious. Then, I'll be a passive smoker for a few seconds.

First, I went to the atrium, wanting to print my time-table and buy Jap Text from the bookstore. But I don't know why the entire school is packed with SO MANY PEOPLE, like Great Singapore Sales at orchard road. I really don't like school with so many people. The queue was crazily long so I decided to get my Jap class notes from the photocopy centre first. And NP Orchard Road was filled with people and more people. At that point of time, I really hate school. While I was queuing up, a few stuckup people cut my queue!!! I kept quiet though. I really don't like.

Proceeded for my first lesson, CATS. The teacher was quite nice, I don't think I'll dislike her. That's good. Lesson was so-so, but so definitely more interesting than Exploring Contemporary Issues.

After that, my long anticipated module- Sports and Wellness!! WEEE. because can sweat, jianfei and keep fit, so I like!!! I chose Sports Climbing, because I never tried rock climbing before and after watching 瑶瑶 climb at 娱乐百分百 like so fun, so I wanted to give it a try! Before that, I was considering among sports climbing, yoga, hip hop and dancesports. But there isn't yoga in the PM class :( Hip hop majority mass commers o.o so left with sports climbing and dancesports. While I was deciding, the person kept hurrying me so I just take via instinct. And I'm glad that I got into sports climbing wee.

Lastly, foreign language class! Miki sensei is still as pretty as ever! However, today I almost dozed off in class. Now the classroom is smaller(lol, so many ppl quited), more cosy, lights are yellower and the person who sat in front of me is so tall, thus, covering my face from Miki sensei's vision. So, it's quite natural wanting to fall asleep.

Tomorrow will be a freaking long day!! 9am-5pm and training at night!!! Can't wait for Friday leh. Quick come.

Good Night.

School later!!!

2009-10-19T04:45:00.002+08:00

HI IT'S 5.23AM NOW!! NING IS ONLINE TOO DAMN COOL. SHE'S MORNING CLASS LATER SOMEMORE. hardcore.

I just finished filing my papers from previous semester and a lot of papers were missing, but who cares man, there's no FINAL FINAL exam like 'O' Level at the end of the third year. Nevertheless, I FEEL SO NEAT AND ORGANISED NOW!! :D

Another thing to add on my school re-opens wishlist:

5) DO REGULAR FILING!!

so that there won't be another long organising/finding/filing the papers until so late.

I FEEL LIKE CLEARING MY ROOM + WARDROBE NOW, but my mom is waking up.
Good Night.

Different frequencies

2009-10-18T00:56:00.002+08:00

Even in a tiny, small SG, there can be so many sorts of people...

I met people of the worst, but also the better ones over 2 days. Apart from all the passers-by, there're 2 other girls with me as well. They're really friendly and nice, but in me, there's this tendency of not wanting to listen to them talk. I hoped so much in a day they would just shut up and ignore me. Of course I didn't show it. Smiles are damn useful here.

They're about the same age as me, or maybe a year older. I can seriously tell you if they won't become my long-term friends, because out of 10 things they did, 8 of which I don't understand why they must like that. Eg, One girl kept telling lame jokes(80% heard before ones) and the other girl kept laughing at her jokes(even though she heard those for n times already). When she announced she had a joke to tell, I had this "shit man, can stop already not!?" but of course I'm damn fake, I smiled and acted enthu and listened to her joke.
and her voice quality = irritating.

About the same age, but initially I thought they were lower sec sch kids. Our frequencies + channels totally don't match at all. And I just secretly hoped that I won't be crossing path with anyone of different channels, because it's very tiring since I have to keep smiling to cover the awkwardness.

And, smiling had become a TOOL for the last 2 days for me. OVER-SMILING IS SERIOUSLY VERY VERY VERY TIRING. MY FACE IS ON THE VERGE OF CRAMP, TURNING HARD AND ONLY HAD AN EXPRESSION- SMILEY. Other times when I'm not working, my smiles are really minimal and I totally can understand why SG-ians the face all damn black. It's really so damn tiring, I don't even wanna use the energy to move my smiling muscles.

but instant cash is my motivation to keep smiling!!!!

**
and on a random note, I DON'T LIKE TO EAT WITH PEOPLE WITH SMALL APPETITE. my brother's appetite shrunk!!!!!
Twice already, he have to wait and WATCH me eat like I'm some sort of glutton!!!!! NEXT TIME EAT BUFFET WITH ME MUST EAT WITH ME TILL THE END. BEST IS TO LET ME WATCH YOU EAT.

don't worry, I'm still 52kg. SRC weighing machine MIA-ed, so I will remain 52 till the machine re-appears.

My ears are round.

2009-10-14T23:54:00.002+08:00

Because my ears aren't sharp :(

Recently, I neglected 阿琴 a lot. I seldom wipe dust off her, seldom polish her surface and seldom talk to her. The third party is none other than 阿吉. My skills are still very lousy and I can't play bar chords yet. I think I will be able to do it at the end of this month, that's my target. Finger tips hardening is around stage 0.1! Very good. I don't wanna have hard finger tips else will have no feeling when playing piano(according to brenda).

If I'm damn rich in the future, one of my hobbies will be collecting instruments! Went with Ning and Ryan to Peninsula to look at instruments. Woa, I think instruments are very magical. It's only wood, strings, the basic materials can come up with something so musical. Ning bought a Yamaha. Personally, I like the appearance of her new acoustic. It's got a surface which will reflect colours like the scales of fish. It's pretty, both the guitar and its price.

4 more days to sch reopens, WHY SO FAST.
ok, I LOOK FORWARD TO THE 9 WEEKS HOLIDAY IN FEB NEXT YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New time-table

2009-10-05T23:46:00.003+08:00

School is starting and the new time-table is crazy. On a happy note, Friday is a sleeping day for me at home/ maybe a project rush day.

1) No last minute work
2) No losing of macbook charger
3) No disliking of any lecturers/tutors
4) No slack

Good luck to me.

G stands for

2009-08-31T00:35:00.010+08:00

Gadgets. Gizmos. Guinea pigs!

!!!

You know what. Initially, I thought they were HAMSTERS. I am not afraid of cockroaches, but I am afraid of hamsters. They are not cute because they are rats.

Everytime I will keep thinking that they will be squashed and burst into juices because they look so tiny and vulnerable, like chicks. Disgusting.

But the G-Force are NOT hamsters! They are guinea pigs! Maybe it's just me, who is stupid enough to think that they're hamsters.

Whatever it is, they are not any ordinary guinea pigs. Very high-tech guinea pigs I should say.

***

First up, Agent Darwin.

A TEAM LEADER!!!! Look so tiny and useless, but a team leader. Very determined to succeed.
Hm, too ambitious(to me lah.) I don't like.

Secondly, Agent Juarez.

The left one, in grey. Martial Arts specialist. Also, she's a very language ~~person~~ guinea pig, fluent in English Spanish and her own guinea pig lang. Quite handsome, considering her tiny mohawk. Ok, not bad seriously. Females with mohawk.... COOL.

Thirdly, Blaster.

The Mister BOMB-IT-ALL. Demolition Specialist. An expert in weapons. Love the extremes with loads of attitude! Sounds like Ning, haha! (not the weapons part though.) Ok cool. Just that his lips abit strange in this picture here.

But, my favourite is... HURLEY !!

He loves to eat(i think), JUST LIKE ME! And as you can see, his body size(although still very tiny), still is the "fattest" among all of them. And this is what makes him different and more adorable. Fatty Hurley stands out in his group. He's got a mohawk too!!!
Feeling hungry now.

***

After much process of self-deceiving, I still think they look like hamsters, quite disgusting(the thought of the squashing). So it's good to be all geared up so as not to look so vulnerable, and of course, not so disgusting.
Moreover, I watched the trailer and their voices are quite deep quite manly, not squeaky and whiny so they don't look as weak as I thought. Bring it on.

Catch G-Force in cinemas 4th Sep 2009!

School

2009-04-16T03:26:00.000+08:00

is starting.

=(

WHATEVER THE TRANSPORT FARE!

2009-03-01T00:04:00.004+08:00

Ever since the JC students started school, I had been putting coins(55cents) to save money. But maybe SMRT/SBS transit found out that there're cheaters like me, they have been sending lots of workers to check on the passengers' ez-link cards/tickets.

I saw 2 in 3days. How unlucky can I get.

The first- was on my way to training with JX on 960. The person board the bus and started checking. Luckily JX and I was sitting at the back. Then, the person started scolding one of the passenger who paid the wrong fare. Being scared of being caught(both JX and I), we alighted at Bugis bus-stop and WALKED to SRC.

The second- was on my way home from training on 171. And I tell you, I had never in my entire life seen the person boarding 171 and check on us!!!! I had proof that bus 171 is the bus which I take most frequently after much collection of the bus tickets. When the person board 171, omg, I'm still at Bukit Timah(around St Marg's) so I can't possibly alight there. Plus the fact that I had 2 other netball friends with me. Of which one is a JC student and the other future NP student tapped her ez-link, paying the adult fare.

So I got caught by the woman, irritating woman. But since she didn't fine me, she's not that irritating. In the end, she confiscated my ticket and charged my ez-link the adult fare. So in the end, I ended up paying the impressively high adult fare and an extra 55cents(omg, it's not!!! I paid 60cents!!!!! SHIT.)

Ok, whatever it is. This has made me more determined to persuade my parents(more to my mother) to allow me to cycle to school!!
It's so stupid. I don't want to pay adult fare because I am not an adult even though I'm in poly. Of course because they said poly is a tertiary institution and blah blah blah....

But THE FACT THAT WE POLY STUDENTS ARE ALREADY PAYING MORE ON OUR SCHOOL FEES, WHY THE FREAKING HELL DO WE ALSO HAVE TO PAY A HELL LOAD MORE FOR OUR TRANSPORT FARES.

No matter what I'm complaining here is not going to make things any better, because this kind of complain is going on for so many years already. Even if the bus companies want to look into this matter, IT'S ALSO USELESS. They're always so slow in action. Even if they really did, I would have already graduated. It's just stupid.

Also, this made me more determined to drive my own private car(or my parents' if I'm very poor) when I reach 18. I am going to take my test dates on my 18th birthday. That's how desperately I want to drive.

Even if more money is feeding into owning a car, EVERYTHING IS WORTH IT BECAUSE BUS IS SUPER TIME-COMSUMING which I always hated. And, I CANNOT REALLY STAND THE SIGHT OF SO MANY PRIVATE CARS OVERTAKING THE BUS I'M ON. buses are always so slow.

AND THE LAST THING ON LIST IS TO BE SO LUCKY TO BOARD ON A BUS WHICH TRAVELS 10KM/H. THOSE DRIVERS SHOULD REALLY GO AND DIE, if not just bang the wall.

Another thing which I'm unhappy with the transportation in SG is that they close their bus services very early. You'll find it very hard to get home after a late-night movie, or a long day out with your friends when the clock turns 12. Although NR is available, the destinations are very very limited.

So, call SG a vibrant city? with vibrant night life we have here? Seriously, if the people who can afford to enjoy this night life only refers to people who own cars, SG is just any other boring and mundane city. Majority of the shopping malls and shops closes before 11. *yawns*

If, the government wants to promote a green SG and to keep our air fresh, and encourage us to take public transport, then I hope to see a change in the transport fare, which I doubt I would.

One day, young people like me who doesn't want to pay for that something extra would end up driving our own cars individually. Then, the number of private cars multiply like siao.

I WOULD RATHER GET TRAPPED IN A TRAFFIC JAM IN MY OWN PRIVATE CAR THAN BUMPING MY WAY ON A BUS @ THE BUS LANE!

because when I'm in a car, at least I can listen to the radio and sing like some mini concert inside at my own confort zone.

stupid public transports, I hate them. Also including cabs! :@

Wah, very angry.

Last day of 2008, wth?

2008-12-31T01:08:00.001+08:00

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M LEFT WITH 23HOURS IN 2008.

Anyway, I am very bad at summarizing my year so I will want to hope for a better person in the new year.

- 看开多一点
- 脾气好一点
- 孝顺父母多多点
- 对妹妹好一点
- 对朋友好一点
- 嘴巴小一点
- 早点睡觉，脱离夜猫家族
- 练琴多一点
- 运动多一点
- 身高多一点，体重少一点
- 胃口小一点

I think it's just all these. I will continue to add on if I thought of others thing I wanna do to become a better person in the future, in 2009.